On becoming a cliché
It’s the little things about getting on in years that piss me off.
Herself has commented in the past how I moan when getting out of a chair. Naturally I correct her and tell her it’s not a moan but a grunt which is significantly different from a man’s perspective. I have my dignity to maintain. It’s true though. In fact any movement is now accompanied by twinges of stiffness, some more than others. One of the worst is getting up off the floor and I suppose you’ll just suggest that maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time on the floor, but it’s something that is difficult to avoid for various reasons.
Cooking is also problematic. I enjoy cooking but it’s something to do with leaning over pots and pans or working on chopping boards that gives me a fierce backache. Cooking while sitting down doesn’t work as I tend to move around the kitchen a lot. The only answer for that one is to live off takeaways but they can turn repetitive and boring. And there’s still the washing up.
Any excursion away from home causes problems. Yesterday was a case in point where technically I did very little. I sat in a comfy heated car for a while. I stood on a couple of those escalator ramp yokes for a few minutes and then I sat in a series of chairs before repeating the escalator, car bit in reverse order. So I expended very few calories by doing very little exercise so why was I fucked after? This happens every time. A walk around the village has the same effect which delights Penny as now I’m becoming slower at walking than her.
So last night I went to bed in the sure and certain knowledge that I was in for a good night’s sleep.
I was still awake at four, tossing and turning.
There was no reason for this. The dice roll every night, and if a double six turns up I have a crap sleep, or rather lack of sleep, crap or otherwise. I don’t even get to roll these mysterious dice myself. It’s fucking annoying.
So today I’m really bollixed and craving a nap. But I have to go down to the village later which will bollix me even further.
I’m not complaining as I know from experience that there’s no point. I’m not looking for sympathy either. I know it’s all just part of the greying process. I’m becoming the clichéd picture of the bent old fart shuffling around the place. All I need now is a walking stick and the image is complete. Herself hasn’t complained that I spell of old piss, but that’s probably just a matter of time.
On the plus side though, my eyesight is crystal sharp today.
I can, sadly, relate to all you say.
One thing I’ll mention; eyes. For many years I’ve needed glasses for reading and that includes looking at the Tap-Top. Nothing special, just tried the selection at a pound store, looked at their test sheet and settled for 1.5, whatever 1.5 is Magnification? Then about five days ago I noticed the computer screen text looking a tad out of focus so thought that age required glasses a little stronger. I took ’em off and looked at the screen and it was as clear and as sharp as old eyes could wish for. This, in view of your eye post, got me wondering if this was something to do with an unintended long term ‘benefit’ of the heart meds we’re on? Doubtful, but a spooky coincidence…
The eye thing is strange mainly because of its unpredictability. I doubt it’s anything to do with medication, as side effects tend to be constant whereas the eye thing is very irregular. It would have to be down to something else that varies such as day to day diet or fatigue or something similar. At least I can see what I’m typing today so I’m just going with the flow.
Growing old isn’t mentioned in school. You’re not prepared then there it is staring you in the face. That mirror image as you shave changes so slowly its as if it doesn’t happen. Then come the creaks. Mine started with painful knees and were painful enough for me to need sit still and wait for the car to arrive. At this time a friend ( scientifically trained like me) suggested marine chondroitin. It wasn’t something I had heard of but she swore by it. In order to avoid the earache for taking no notice I promised to give it a try. My sceptic nature felt confident that this stuff was going to be useless but to my chagrin after a month I had no sign of the old problem. I have cut the dose drastically now but for the safe side I have a pill every couple of days. It may not work for everyone but it certainly worked for me.
Anyhow best wishes and keep on keeping on.
There is only one mirror on the wall here and I rarely look at it. I don’t need constant affirmation that I’m an Adonis.
Occasionally though I do get a glimpse and wonder who that scruffy old fart is in my bathroom. It’s unsettling.
I must try the local Apothecary to see if he’s heard of marine chondroitin. Sounds interesting. It might help Herself too with some of her problems.
Knox Nutra Joint. A friend of mine swore by it.
I used to suffer from sciatica which meant that I dreaded every shopping trip, visit to the boot sale, or walk. I went to the doctor, who referred me to the physios, who told me (after an xray), that I’d just have to manage it with pain relief.
When I reached 60 I retired from my largely sedentary job and became a hospital porter.
I now walk upwards of 10 miles every day, and while I ache a bit everywhere every day, it seems that the sciatica has gone.It was hard at first and it took 3 months for the symptoms to ease, but I think it’s very easy to underestimate how much exercise you need to do to build up strength and keep in trim.
I think it’s a case of use it or lose it.
Lucky if i get 2 hours before needing another pee, worse still sometimes dream about peeing and then wake up panicking that i’ve done so, so far so good on that front.
Haven’t had much above 5 hours combined sleep a night for years and its getting worse not better, bought a new mattress (have you seen the price of them?) a few months ago which has helped the shoulder pains during the night, have to sleep on my side cos end up swallowing my tongue and wake up in a choking fit which frightens the good woman more than me.
Going to end up sleeping sitting up in a chair before long at this rate, though i’m sure what the lunatics in charge are doing is half the lack of sleep issues, end up waking up at 4am most mornings when what’s left of me mind starts working overtime, after tossing and turning for up to an hour get up and peruse what some other old bugger writes in places like this, thank goodness for you/them.
Don’t get me started on what hurts, shorter list of what doesn’t.
At 82, I think I can give most of you young lads a few years! Remember, things can only get worse, and if you can’t take a joke you shouldn’t have joined.
That has cheered me up no end. But then I do have a sense of humour. If only I could find it.
I’m in agreement with grandad on this Glyn. Thanks!
A couple of years back I went on a shopping trip with Mrs C that entailed standing around and wandering up and down the clothing aisles of Marks & Sparks, including the largest lingerie section in the West Midlands. When I limped back to the car I was almost bent double with back pain. Since then even stopping to admire a fine pair of shoes on a shopping trip brings severe pain !
I categorically refused to go shopping with Herself [in her mobile days] and would just head for the nearest pub/coffee shop. Even browsing women’s lingerie wouldn’t tempt me back.