Sticking my finger in the fire
Will I? Won’t I? Yes or no?
In the end I decided.
I would go for the booster.
Now before any of you say anything, my decision has fuck all to do with the virus. It seems that the vaccine is useless in that area anyway but what decided me was a nagging curiosity. Having had some rather painful and long lasting herpes attacks [still ongoing, by the way – thanks for asking] I just wanted to see what the booster would do. Would it fire up another complaint? Would it perhaps cure the current neuralgia? I was like the kid who knows that fire is really fucking hot but just has to stick his finger into the flame to see how hot. Just call it scientific curiosity.
“Morning Grandad” says Doc. “Here for the booster?”
“Will it get me into Low Earth Orbit?” I asked.
“I don’t know but you will probably wake up tomorrow speaking fluent Chinese.”
He gave me the shot.
“If you wake up tomorrow speaking Russian just come back to me, just in case I gave you one from the wrong batch.” He inspires confidence does our Doc.
I awoke this morning with a determination to test my linguistic abilities. It would be good to speak Chinese as they are still arriving here in their droves [a quarter of all visitors yesterday]. Maybe I should scribble in Mandarin?
So I have translated the entire site. I have chosen English [natch!], Irish [obviously], Chinese, French, Spanish, German [reluctantly], Arabic [simply because it looks fantastic], Hindi [because it too looks really cool], Russian and Polish [for all the builders who are still stuck here after the financial crash]. They’re all there up top on the menu [the languages, not the Poles].
If you want any more languages that’s grand but please request ’em in English.
I’m not that multilingual.
“Will it get me into Low Earth Orbit?”
I am given to understand that smoking nothing but Dark Fired Kentucky Burley for the day will get you there.
Keep in mind, I have never actually tried this myself.
I very much doubt the local shop would stock that. It’s hard enough getting them to stock Condor.
Well this is a new pastime. Cheaper than puzzle books. Trying to find “fuck” in the different languages.
Not easy. No certain success yet. Give us a clue for Chinese chi.
When very shortly I give up, poor old Google will have to come to the rescue.
I’d have expected the Arabic version to be right-justified – maybe you used an auto-translator, there was I thinking you’d crafted them all by yourself . . . .
Damn! I knew something was wrong when I finished transcribing everything. I’m not going to change it now.
And will you also go for the booster-booster? And the booster-booster-booster? And the booster-booster-booster-booster with additional flu + smallpox + scrofula +++ else you don’t get to leave your home, even to buy food? (see underdogsbiteupwards).
The basic problem seems to be that the injections that we were told would be salvation actually aren’t. UK govt figures currently show negative effectiveness (i.e. you are more likely to get the lurg vaccinated than not). Gibraltar, with a population jabbed on average 2.8x for each person, has a “wave” of coronadoom and is set to cancel Christmas. And all that “misinformation” in the yellow card reports about “very rare” side effects, including your shingles and (very, very, rare, a mere 1700+ to date in UK) death.
But, as we know, all of the bad is caused by the dirty, selfish vax-deniers. Once they have all been rounded up we will be free of Covid and things will get back to (the new) normal…
Ethiopian script looks interesting – and if you spoke the language of Haile Selassie, it would endear you to the Rastafarians who have abundant supplies of ganja.
Amharic added. Did you know that’s what they speak in Ethiopia? It looks lovely. I’m now expecting a large donation of ganja…..
I must have inherited the ability to speak Irish from Great Grandad. I can’t say a lot but I see from your translation that I can say “Morning Grandad” in Irish.
So here goes: Morning Grandad.
🙂
Tráthnóna maith duitse freisin, a dhuine uasail.
😈