If cars were cigarettes
It’s hard to escape this COP lark in Glasgow.
30,000 delegates and hangers on? I wonder how much “greenhouse gasses” they produced getting there?
I just wondered what would happen if they applied the “tobacco template” to road transport? It’s only a matter of time before they try. Naturally each step will fail to produce the desired results so they will have to implement new steps.
Step 1. All advertising of cars, trucks and buses to be banned.
Step 2. All cars, trucks and buses to carry large images on the driver’s and passenger’s doors depicting photoshopped scenes of starving waifs, flooding, Polar Bears and volcanoes [which have nothing to do with traffic fumes but they look impressive].
Step 3. All cars trucks and buses to carry planetary health warnings in large letters [Samples: “I am destroying the planet”, “My fumes are killing kittens”, “Cars KILL”].
Step 4. No engine will have a capacity greater that 850cc.
Step 5. Lurid images to be increased to cover at least 75% of the bodywork.
Step 6. All car showrooms must be surrounded by 20ft solid walls.
Step 7. All vehicles to be standardised to one particular body shape and colored a standard muddy green. No machine may carry any indication of the make or model
Step 8. Families are restricted to one vehicle only.
Step 9. No children to be allowed within 50ft of a vehicle.
Step 10. All electric vehicles to be banned as studies have shown that they are a gateway to petrol and diesel vehicles.
Do you think I’m joking?
Just wait….
“I wonder how much âgreenhouse gassesâ they produced getting there?”
This doesn’t matter they’re doing it for your own good.
I would wager a good deal that they produced as much gas in the fortnight as I did in an entire lifetime.
“Praise the machine”…………….oh No, I’m a heretic!
It’s okay. You can’t be burned at the stake. Too much smoke.
The next step the must be to ban all cars in the outdoors. By way of an explanation, you may of course have a car outside but it will be against the law to start and run the engine within fifty feet of any buildings.
And most importantly, we know price is a strong deterrent so the most basic entry level car will now cost â¬80,000+VAT with pro-rata increases across all ranges and a proviso included that every year in the Budget, they go up by a further â¬5,000 each.
That should clear the air somewhat, ahem ahem.
I actually realised after I published that I had forgotten the step where they ban parking near public places [including pubs and restaurants] and later move to ban cars from any publicly owned spaces [including roads].
Sometimes being at an advanced age has it’s perks. Not much longer to tolerate the bull shit.
It is sad how often I have the same sentiment.
They will of course be obliged to have pictures of road traffic accidents and victims displayed on the bodywork , with the slogan âSpeed Killsâ , emblazoned across the sides. It is of course the same bullshit as âSmoking Killsâ, or âHands ,Face ,Spaceâ which has been drummed into the proletariat, until you believe
Brainwashing is good for the Common Man. It means he doesn’t have to think for himself.
I rather fancy “Support Mental Health. Stop electing morons” as a slogan that should be displayed on everything. I wonder if it will catch on?
If flatulence were cigarettes…?