I called down to Doc yesterday.
“and what can I do for you?” says he.
“I’m looking for a second opinion” says I.
He looked a little disgruntled. In fact he looked like he had no gruntle at all.
“So you’ve had a diagnosis elsewhere?” says he.
“I did indeed” says I.
“Who did you consult?” says he.
“Me” says I. “I double checked with Doctor Google too”.
“Aha! So I am your third opinion. And what was your diagnosis?”
“Postherpetic Neuralgia” says I. “It’s driving me up the fucking walls.”
He checked around the affected area and prodded me a couple of times.
“Spot on” says he. “I can concur. Excellent diagnosis.”
He suggested some tablets. I said I had tried them before and they did fuck all. I then told him that I had sampled a few various tablets and capsules that I had found at the back of the kitchen drawers and that I had found one that worked. He was delighted and wrote me out a prescription. It will probably cure me of Kennel Cough or grow me a pair of tits as a side effect but what the hell.
“Do you want the Jab?” says he.
“Fuck off” says I. “If that’s the booster you can stick it, but not in me. I swear I got the Shingle Bells as a result of that fucking vaccine!”
He said nothing.
“You’re not denying it?” says I.
“No I’m not. God only knows what the side effects of that vaccine are. You’re probably right. Anyway it’s just the ordinary Flu jab this time.”
“The ordinary one? None of that mRNA shit?”
“No. Just the ordinary one you had last year and the year before.”
He jabbed me.
I left feeling quite pleased with myself.
I had passed the test.
I am now a Doctor.