So now our modern pampered generation need instructions on how to dress?

New-gen workwear: How to dress for your return to the office.

Personally I would have thought this was pretty simple: just wear what you wore before the Madness hit.

Dressing for work never bothered me much. Bottom half = jeans or cords with runners or boots on the feet. Top half = shirt and maybe a jumper or sweater depending on the outside temperature. The ensemble would be topped off with a jacket or anorak mainly because I needed something with enough pockets for my pipe, matches or lighter, tobacco and keys plus whatever junk I might accrue over a period.

Now that I think of it, my work was what you might call dirty for the first couple of decades, in particular when I worked on the cable television stuff. I would do a lot of lugging aluminium ladders and fiddling with electronics in dirty places and I used to end the day in a fairly filthy state.

One time I was on the road lugging ladders as usual when I remembered I had an interview. At the time I was employed on what they called a casual basis, meaning I was effectively employed day to day. They wanted to make me permanent and in typical Semi-State fashion this meant the “vacancy” had to be advertised publicly and I had to apply for my own job and do the interviews and the whole palaver. So at the appointed time I turned up at Personnel to do the interview. There were two other candidates waiting and they were dressed to kill – the whole shebang of three piece suits and ties with shiny black shoes. I was as usual wearing filthy torn jeans, an old shirt and tatty runners and my hands were black from lugging ladders and equipment. The two candidates looked at me with smug smirks, presumably writing me off as a definite failure. Needless to say I got the job.

When I moved into the computer field I was, for the first time what you might term an “office worker”. Being now officially a Nerd, my rigout had to reflect my new status – tatty jeans, runners and a t-shirt!

Of course I don’t have the problem of returning to an office after six months of working from home, but it wouldn’t bother me clothes-wise. Why would anyone worry? Why would anyone need suggestions in a newspaper article?

Personally I would go for the leopardskin, the pink handbag and the shoes with the gold chain anklet.

I think they’d suit me.