I am declaring that this day, the fourth of July, is Independence Day.
From henceforth my little corner of Wicklow is an independent state to be known as Manoraria.
Our Constitution is a simple declaration of freedom, liberty and respect. Our new legal system shall be based on the old Brehon Laws. Our language is Ramblese which has its roots based in English, Irish, Dialect and Profanity. Our currency is Barter with an exchange rate depending in my mood. Religion is none of our business nor yours.
Our borders are clearly marked by Bramble which is both fence and defence. All are welcome through our single border post [clearly marked as a gate] with a simple entry tariff of a litre bottle of Jameson whiskey [except for smokers. See below].
All laws pertaining in our neighbouring country of Ireland have been repealed and new Manorarian laws now apply. In particular, smoking is encouraged and smokers are welcomed with open arms. The entry tariff for a smoker is a pack of Condor Original Ready Rubbed.
Immigration policy is simple. All are welcome provided they provide their own accommodation [to be located in a spot chosen by myself] and their own independent living arrangements.
Our military wing shall consist of Penny. Our policy is one of non-aggression, but any attempts at invasion shall be swiftly met with a sniffing of the crotch. Peaceful annexation is encouraged provided our laws and constitution remain predominant.
Any country recognising today as Independence Day shall de facto be recognising us as a new and independent entity.
Happy Independence Day everyone!
I am reminded of an episode of Family Guy (aka Peter Griffin).
More "Passport to Pimlico"?
Or ‘The Mouse That Roared’ – declare war on America, lose it, then you can live on the proceeds for ever. Worked for Germany . . . .
(1) Will there be customs officials at the gate?
(2) Have you decided on a passport design as yet?
(3) I have Jameson, but Condor may be an issue for me. I do have a healthy stock of Peterson Irish Flake if that would suffice.
1. Yes. Penny will be on duty provided she's not out for a walk, sleeping, feeding or just doesn't feel like it.
2. No. Not yet. A pipe with a green circle around it?
3. Jameson is of course fine. Peterson Irish Flake might be worth a try but bring an extra half bottle of Jameson just in case.
I understand you will be terribly busy doing head of state stuff, but If I bring my copy of Head Rambles will you be available to autograph it?
Also, I want to congratulate you on your great show of fiscal responsibility by placing two agencies (the military and customs) under one agency head. (Congratulations and good luck to Penny!)
Now having said that, I advise you to keep a close eye on Penny lest she get any ideas of overthrowing the current administration and seizing power.
If I can manage to sail across the Irish Sea in my £5.99 Primark rubber dinghy, possibly assisted by the UK Border Farce Illegal Immigrant Rescue Service, can I apply for political asylum from this numptie governed plague island? I can claim a family connection (the Gallaghers from a village outside Dublin) which may help. I can even bring my collection of the Corr's greatest hits (plus a bottle or two of a medicinal .alcohol beverage).
I thought the UK Border crowd brought everyone they found to the UK? So far, no one has attempted crossing the Irish Sea in a rubber dingy so far as I know.
You can leave the Corrs behind [lighten the load a bit?]
What village outside Dublin? Your answer is of critical importance.
Happy Manororia day!
Thanks Elizabeth. Many happy returns [though I'm a bit late now?]
Don't know if me and The Wife can make the trip (if we can it will be our last) but if we do we're bringing a wooden platform (kit), a yurt (also a kit) and an outdoor loo (again a kit, complete with shovel). I quit smoking long ago but the Jameson I can manage well enough. All we would ask is that the ground where we'll erect the yurt and the loo be solid ground as it's difficult to dig a hole for the loo in a bog.
By the way, what's the tax rate on a yurt? Oh, and Happy Independence Day to you and yours as well.