Tony Holohan ‘shocked’ at large crowds gathered outdoors in Dublin city centre

Yes. This was the headline news this morning. A “tweet” from old MiseryGuts is the best they can do. Obviously world peace and happiness for all has arrived and the real item of news is a “tweet”.

I wonder why he was shocked? Was he shocked because so many seemed to be enjoying themselves? Don’t they know that’s banned by law? Was he shocked at the potential to spread the WooHooFlu? Though none of the previous, heavily condemned gatherings seemed to cause any peak in cases? Or was he shocked because the Peasants weren’t doing as they were told? The last one gets my vote.

I went down to the village yesterday.

Big mistake.

The place was fucking packed to the gills with the Great Unwashed all come to gawk at the cardboard town that our humble village has become. It seems that anyone not interested in pissing off Tony Holohan had decided to visit my little village instead. They all brought about five generations of their families with them so the pavements and roads were milling with idiots slurping ice-cream cones and taking photos and “selfies”. Feral children ran amok and Old Dears wandered aimlessly everywhere, including onto the road.

The first sign of trouble was at the bottom of the hill. A cunt decided a “Yield” sign didn’t apply to her, but I had right of way, and I was going to take it. My roads, my rules. Lucky for her that her brakes worked though the kids packed into her back seat all probably got bloody noses.

Then it took me about ten minutes to cover a stretch of road that normally takes about five seconds, because of idiot drivers ahead getting stuck in a mess of their own making.

And the fuckers had not only taken my parking space but had taken every other one as well, not to mention all the places where it is plain stupid to park a car. I had to park outside the village in a little secret spot they hadn’t discovered.

The village has changed since I was last down there [about two days ago]. The chemist [which was one of my destinations] seems to have become an Apothecary, advertising pills, powders and potions over the shop window, Fair enough. They still sell Ibuprofen anyway, in modern packets too which was actually a disappointment. I would love to have brought home a little paper packet of powder. A few other shops have changed also [I noticed the Dry Cleaners has become a Butchers which is nice – we need a decent butchers] but I was too busy tripping over kids and dogs to check them all.

The grocery seems to still be a grocery. It was packed with interlopers all queuing for ice-cream cones [and all wearing masks]. I nicely caused havoc by barging through the crowd [sans mask] and asking for fags for Herself. They all probably reckon they caught the Virus off me now.

I won’t be visiting the village again at the weekend. Not for the rest of the summer anyway.

I hate crowds.