Talking shite
I watched a bit of a current affairs programme last night.
“Claire Byrne Live” is nearly always worth watching even if it’s only the gaze upon the eponymous Claire.
Last night however I switched off early. She had Mary Lou McDonald and Leo Varadkar. The problem with those two is that they positively adore the sound of their own voices. Waffle, waffle waffle. And Mary Lou in particular went on and on about “conversations”.
This is a modern thing. No matter what the topic is, we have to have a “conversation” about it. We no longer talk or discuss – we have a “conversation”. Last night Mary Lou went overboard and every single sentence had to refer to a “conversation” at least once of not multiple times. The topic was on a united Ireland and they had some bloke from Norn Iron who had no interest whatsoever in having a “conversation” with her or anyone else for that matter. I don’t blame him.
Personally I couldn’t give a flying shite about Norn Iron. I have been there quite a few times and there are differences – they still use the old Mile [fair play to ’em] instead of Kilometers and their road names are only in English. The only real reservation is their accent [and in particular the Derry accent] which is akin to listening to the bastard child of a buzz-saw and a Kango hammer. The border used to be a slight problem – I didn’t particularly like having some English Child Soldier pointing his rifle at me through the car window – but that eased off in the last couple of decades. I suppose if they start having their fucking “conversation” then the old Troubles will rear their ugly head again.
They made mention of changing our constitution, our flag and even the name of the country. That opens some interesting chains of thought? Personally I would follow the Atlantic tradition started by Iceland and Greenland and call it Wetland or Fuckingcoldland but that’s just me.
So I switched off after about the twentieth mention of a “conversation”.
Sorry Claire.
Shite. A wonderful word. Like arse, so much more expressive than the prissy shit and ass.
The Irish, being an entrepreneurial folk have made full use of the Boardah.
Family on mother's side lived close to and on both sides. Right from first created they made full use of the opportunities.
Because of tax, and sometimes rationing, stuff was cheaper or more available on one side or the other. My Granny, living in Fermanagh but with family in Cavan Co. would tell me about the cross border train being full of dairy product going one way and an other category going the other. Even now my uncle in Fermanagh, Norn Iron pops across to The South to fill up his petrol tank. And this was the death of Filling Stations in Ulster and SW Scotland. Lorries delivering to Eire would have multiple extra fuel tanks and always fill them before going north into Ulster and Scotland. Back at base tanks would be drained leaving only enough go get back south to the land of cheap relatively, fuel. All legal, unlike the passing of Red Diesel through wine finings to remove the embarassing colour.
Likewise there was the case of farm beasts permanently living in trucks crossing and recrossing the border somehow or other collecting subsidies in each direction.
No, I think nobody, except the Eurocrats and Irish and UK beaurocrats want no border. The rest just want the benefits.
Absolutely the best, kindest folk on both sides.
Eirinn go brach.
You forgot one major difference – fireworks are legal in the north!
There was one trip up north that I remember well, because it was after the smoking ban here but before NI introduced it. We stopped off in Banbridge and every pub had big signs in the windows – SMOKING ALLOWED HERE. That really rubbed salt in the wound. Later on during that same break I was waiting outside a hotel in Coleraine while Herself did whatever she was doing inside. I lit up my pipe and a passer-by laughed at me – "Hah! Ye're from the South. Ye know ye can smoke inside here!" [I had already enjoyed a pipeful after my meal inside].
The separation of Ulster and the Republic makes no sense, it's simply a 99-year-old anomaly which is long overdue for resolution: there is no natural nor geographic 'border' to justify the political divide, it was merely a convenience at the time. True, folk in the North may have different accents and dialect from those in the South, cultures even, but that's true in most countries around the world, they manage to accommodate it without bullets.
However, the same is also true on mainland Britain, there is no natural barrier to cause Scotland or Wales to be politically or economically separate, only the emotional baggage of some zealots. Maybe if we all grew up and recognised natural, rather than artificial, boundaries then we could concentrate on making life better for everyone within any logical 'nation'. But back on Planet Real . . . . .
It's a right mess at the moment. South is in the EU and the North isn't but wants to be. They can't have a border but there has to be one. So it's moved out to sea. So North is now separated by an invisible border from GB but isn't part of the South.
Personally I'm not sure if I want the North to become part of the South. I would much prefer that the South becomes part of the North. At least we'd be out of the EU then. Not sure about the monarchy bit though…….
Conversations? Mary Lou and her friends see a conversation as something where they tell people what to do and the people do it. Not once has she ever apologised for her party's campaign of ethnic cleansing and murder.
Politicians generally care only about two things – their names and faces in the meeja and how much money they can pocket [and not necessarily in that order]. I have no time for any of them.
Hmmm….this sounds somewhat like a conversation.
Should there be a conversation regarding the current conversation?
Heh! That did cross my mind. What they want though is for us all to sit down around the dinner table and talk about Norn Iron. I have better things to do with my time.
I'm in Texas, so it took me a mo to catch on to norn iron. No idea who you're talking about, but she has lovely eyes.
She does indeed, and other lovely attributes! She has a sense of humour too.
Ah, yes. 'Northern Ireland'. Norn Iron I get it now. Rory Gallagher, me lad from Cork, loved playing Belfast.
Haha! I say it as they say it.
Although Brummie by birth and upbringing (not to mention the grace of God), as fruit of a Belfast womb a vestige of filial duty tells me I should take umbrage at your disparagement of Norn accents, but in truth I can't. While my mother, inordinately proud to have been trained as a GPO telephonist, did speak very nicely – to the extent that schoolfriends hilariously thought we were rather posh – my eardrums were assaulted violently by an instantaneous return to her natural timbre whenever I transgressed. My blood runs cold to recall it now, twenty years after her death.
Herself was a telephonist [with the phone accent that goes with it]. I get beaten up though when I say that and am informed in no uncertain terms that she was a receptionist. It's very easy to wind her up….
Just mute the TV and keep watching Claire.
Excellent idea! I might even download one of her programmes and edit out all the bits when she's not on camera. Herself might get suspicious though?
Well it is possible she may get suspicious, but you can tell her that you are learning to read lips and this is homework.