An Old Man’s Stoop
There is one little problem that comes with being “of a certain age”.
The pain.
Some people have it in their fingers, or their hips, or their knees or their shoulders. In my case it’s my back.
Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not complaining. After all if I didn’t have a back then I would be a bit of a mess – head and shoulders attached to my hips by a mass of blubber, which apart from being a bit messy would make it very difficult to stand up or breathe.
I have had problems with my back for quite a while. Twice or three times a good many years ago I “put it out” which was sheer fucking agony and left me lying prone for a couple of days. My Doc at the time wasn’t surprised. He just said that as I was almost six foot three and somewhat thin[ish] that I could always expect trouble because of my build. He was a miserable bastard.
What I have now is just a constant ache. It floats around a bit, up and down. I’m in a comfortable chair now so it has quietly moved up to my neck which just feels stiff. As soon as I stand up it will probably shift a bit downwards, hopefully not as far as the base of my spine because that’s when it becomes a real bugger.
A lot of it is my own fault but I partly blame the house. You see it’s a very old house dating back a couple of centuries and people must have been a lot shorter then because some of the doors are under six foot. In the early days I used to have a constant headache from whacking my head off the door frames, so I developed a very simple strategy – whenever I approached a door I ducked. It then became easier to keep my head down as I crossed a room so I developed a semi-permanent stoop when walking around the house.
This stoop has somehow become my default stance, and this is where I lay the blame firmly on my own shoulders [which presumably puts extra stress on my back?]. Whenever I walk anywhere I find myself looking at the ground a few feet ahead of me. My stoop has become permanent. I have an Old Man’s Stoop.
I have been making an effort to fix this. When I stand still I try to remember to throw my shoulders back and look up. That almost gives a moment’s respite. When walking the dog I try to look at the sky instead of the path in front of me. This had led to several trips on loose paving or kerbs and a lot of walking in something soft and squishy which isn’t very pleasant. Once I tripped over a short bloke and he complained that I should look where I’m walking. He had a point. So I’m back to looking at the pavement again.
As I said, I’m not complaining. It’s irritating but it’s not incapacitating. If it gets really bad I just dose myself with something.
It could be a hell of a lot worse.
I could be dead.
Back pain is the worst sort. The spine seems to delight in transmitting its discomfort to the rest of the body.
Ah yes. A fellow sufferer. Yours is as a result of taking on other people's weighty problems?
My sympathy. I had back-problems a few years ago as a result of earlier youthful endeavours, in desperation I visited an osteopath. Stripped down to my nether-garments, this muscular bloke got me into a position I'd never even been in with a woman, quite a achievement, and proceeded to grapple with me in a very close embrace. If one of us gained any pleasure from the exercise, it wasn't me. Neither did I gain any benefit, but he still got paid.
I have heard about those osteopaths. They work by inflicting pain in other areas to distract from back-pain?
Back, both knees, right wrist, left thumb joint, right fingers sometimes lock solid, right shoulder, peeing every hour or so when its cold, i need a new body cos this ones about buggered.
And yes, despite what the idle rich have been saying for ever, hard work does kill you, oh and money doesn't make you happy they also say, funny how they do their best to make as much of it as possible and they've never got enough.
As my old dad used to say, if hard work was so good for you, the rich would have kept it for themselves.
I completely emphasize, sir. My similar back problems are service related but amount to basically the same thing. The injury is at the L5 area (lower part of the spine) which means constant ache at best and flat on my back at worst. And due to having to review the videos from our security cameras every morning I also noticed 2 things that have become rather obvious. The same "old man stoop" you speak of (I look like my father in his later years) and a seriously receding hairline. I don't mind the receding hairline really but the stoop bothers me for some reason.
When I was down in Connecticut (ie: civilization) I paid a monthly visit to a massage therapist for the back pain. The kind that has to be (medically) licensed to practice not the other kind. And that monthly visit kept my back pain at a minimum. Up here in nowhere land the situation is different, as in not available, so it's back to sub-normal as far as the back is concerned.
Possible compromise when walking? Look straight ahead as far as the horizon permits (buildings, cars, roads, whatever). This will allow you to keep your shoulders back while still being able to see what's coming–even the stuff close ahead. It may be a bit out of focus but you'll see it. I've used that technique both when driving and walking and it's worked well for me. It's harder to do when walking for some reason but I keep at it.
Funnily enough I didn't realise how bad my stoop was [or that I even had one] until I put the CCTV up. Watching playbacks I wonder who the old bent fart is until I recognise myself. The old hair seems to be thinning a bit on top as well, but that may be a trick of the light.
I'll try the straight ahead look. But not when I'm walking around the house….
You could try a "kneeling seat" . I know nothing of them, but others like them.
When I crick my back, usually brought on by sudden effort, digging, lifting, with a cold back, I find hanging by hands from a high bar, feet of floor, thus stretching spine is big relief. Just have a good explanation if anyone catches you.
A lot of old English ( Olde Englishe) pubs used to have low ceilings, which was fixed by excavating and lowering the floor. This still leaves the door as it was, with a step down to new floor. The regular tipplers get many a laugh as new folk duck to miss the low door header and fall arse over tit down the unforseen step.
Such larks.
The alternative explanation is that the rubbish piled up outside raised the ground relative to the floor.
My son has a small sign hanging on his living room wall which I have come to appreciate very much. I have no idea where it came from or whos idea it was; but I have come to appreciate it very much.
"Some people try to turn back their odometers, not me. I want people to know why I look the way I do. I have traveled a lot of miles, and some of the roads were not paved."
I read my reply three times before the edit time expired and knew something was wrong. Damned if I could figure out what it was until time had expired.