I feel so much safer now.

Our Magnificent Mighty Masters have published their “roadmap” which dictates how I’m to live for the next nine months. The Virus must be quaking in its boots.

As an aside, hasn’t anyone told our gubmint that very few people use roadmaps these days? Most people now rely on SatNavs or smartphones to do their navigation and roadmaps are sadly mainly a thing of the past.

Anyhows, they have published their roadmap and there are five different levels of panic [from Level 1: just be cautious, to Level 5: all out blind hysteria]. These are to simplify things so we know where we stand. Currently we are all on Level 2 [have sleepless nights with worry] except Dublin which is also on Level 2 but with different restrictions. Do you see how the Levels System simplifies things?

Each level varies slightly from the one above or below. For example at Level 1, I can have ten visitors from three other houses, while at Level 2, I can have visitors from one two or three other houses but only up to six visitors at a time. At Level 3, I can only have visitors from my own home which means I can get together with Herself. At levels 4 and 5, I’m apparently on my own.

So I can currently have six visitors. However if I decide to hold a funeral I can have fifty, so presumably the virus respects the dead [which explains the low mortality rate]? Equally if I were to get married at home I can have fifty which is good to know.

Those of a curious or insane disposition can view the entire thing here.

There is one delightful footnote which is common to all the levels –

Those aged over 70 years and over and the medically vulnerable should exercise judgement regarding the extent to which they engage with others and in activities outside home.

Grand. I shall exercise my judgement.

I shall ignore the whole fucking thing.