Chaos reigns supreme once more in Ireland.

They have locked down Dublin. But it’s not really a lockdown.

What they have actually done is to move Dublin from Level 2 to Level 3 on their remarkably simple coding system. Except it’s not really Level 3 but more a mixture of Level 3 and Level 4. Do you see now how clear and simple the new system is?

Under Level 3 all pubs and restaurants are allowed open. But in Dublin they’re not. All pubs are actually shut and restaurants are only open provided their clientèle all eat outdoors. It’s tough shit if it’s raining.

Weddings are allowed proceed but only today and tomorrow. After that you’re only allowed 25 guests which is an excellent excuse not to invite that aged aunt you haven’t seen in years.

Travel is banned. You can travel around Dublin to your heart’s content but you can’t leave. This is of course excellent news for the rest of Ireland. Us non-Dubs are allowed to travel into Dublin but only if we are going somewhere else that isn’t Dublin.

I gather that essentially all other restrictions such as anti-social distancing and face nappies remain. They don’t seem to have worked in Dublin but maybe they’ll work this time?

In the meantime, all pubs in the rest of the country can open from Monday. That is to say, those pubs that haven’t closed permanently will open but with fierce restrictions.

Life is so simple these days.