What I do in the privacy of my home — 11 Comments

  1. One time, a long, long time ago I got one of those phycho tests, on paper – thats how long ago it was, for a job.

    Do you like children? Yes or No.

    Thought about it, and left no answer.

    • The correct answer is, "Yes, but I can't manage whole one".   (I believe W.C. Fields deserves the credit for that one.)

      Back in school days long ago, I was asked to complete a form requesting a Swedish pen-friend. One question simply said “Sex preferred” – I replied “Yes, please”. Cue an hour in detention. But Ingrid turned out to be very accommodating.

      • Are you referring to his, regarding women, "I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one"?

  2. Have you tried that VR porn stuff yet? You have to use one of those VR headsets, which is awkward, but it's all around you and you just have to pretend you're in the strip joint or whore house and you have to…

    A. Wear a helmet, because you have a condition where you might fall.

    B. Wear really thick glasses because you have terrible eyesight.

    The two imaginative requirements are not a stretch in the above mentioned scenario because the girls will still be really nice to you because you're paying them, but it's a stretch if you're landing an F/A-18 Hornet on the deck of an aircraft carrier because HOW IN THE HELL IS THE NAVY GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT IF YOU NEED GLASSES LIKE SODA BOTTLES HUH? ,,, and in you're case (and almost mine), you're a GRANDAD. Hope you like Chinese ladies (NOT porn, go find your own VR porn links)

    OH! and THIS ONE!

    And… land that fecking jet…



    • You seem to be a bit of an expert in this subject?  Does your Missus know?

      Personally I prefer my reality without the V bit.  It's cheaper.

  3. LOL Google can make anyone an instant expert. No, she doesn't know, you know? Because no, I'm not an expert in that, I'm just an expert when it comes to typing "VR sexy" into the search bar.

    No wait, that didn't sound right.

    I'm an expert at doing a search for sexy women in VR.

    Damn, neither did that.

    I'm not getting out of this, am I.

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