I received an email the other day.
It was from one of those groups who set themselves up to petition various gubmints to see the error of their ways. This one concerned Interweb censorship and how badly it was needed because of all the nasties that are apparently floating around. It took the form of a questionnaire.
The first question asked me to rate how important the Interweb is in my life on a 1 – 5 scale. I said 5 as I need it to order my groceries.
The next one was a bit harder as it asked if I had come across any “illegal” content online. It gave various examples – Online scams, Violence and threats, Illegal pornography, Other, Terrorist propaganda, Sale of illegal goods, Defamation, and Discrimination/hate speech. Seeing as most of those aren’t actually illegal, just annoying, I ignored that question. They didn’t have an option for “no”.
The next one was similar. Had I come across any “harmful” content? Again it gave a load of options but no “no”. Seeing as it is difficult for words on a screen to physically harm me, I thought this question was a bit moot.
The questions then came thick and fast –
Can you give a little more detail about the harmful or illegal content you’ve seen? No. Go find your own porn.
Did you report the content? No. If it was decent porn I just bookmarked it. Otherwise I’d just go to a different website.
If you reported to someone else, could you tell us more? I told me Mammy!
What happened after you reported it? The planet exploded in a ball of flame.
Has the amount of illegal or harmful content you’ve come across changed since Covid-19? Fuck! You had to bring the Virus into it somewhere?
Can you give a little more detail? No. Fuck off with your Virus.
Do you think children are being kept safe online? Who cares? Stop wrapping the little bastards in cotton wool.
The questions roll on, page after page and all of them slanted in such a way that I have to select things I don’t want to select. They ended up with a whole series of options where I had to select how I wanted the gubmint to interfere with my browsing.
I gave up and didn’t finish their “questionnaire”.
I happily went back to my porn.