They announced today that they have released their “Covid19 App“.

This is the dodgy little application for a mobile phone which is supposed to alert me if I have been near someone with the dreaded lurgy.

Okay, I admit it – I downloaded it just to see what it does. Naturally it is all yellow which for some strange reason seems to be the colour of the virus [judging by all the notices and advertisements around the place]. It’s only practical value seems to be being able to provide me with a constant update on the number of deaths and infections in the country which is fuck all use to any man nor beast. Strangely, quite a number of weirdos seem to be obsessed with these figures so I suppose it will keep them happy?

I was going to delete it from my phone again but then had second thoughts.

I went back to my personal information that I had previously entered. I ramped up my fever levels and announced that I am a walking hotbed of the Virus and am highly infectious.

All I have to do now is to have a long stroll around Skobieville making sure I walk close to anyone who might have a smart phone. Seeing as most of the chavs who live there would buy the latest iPhone before they would fork out for child support, that shouldn’t be too hard.

Then we’ll see how well the “app” works?