Getting all misty eyed
I have been blindsided.
I use the expression advisedly.
I mentioned last Friday that I had an appointment with the opthelomo opotho oththamoloj eye specialist. But it turned out to be just another one of those eye test thingies they have been doing to me for the last year or two.
Today I had an appointment with the head honcho who gave me a load more tests. I didn’t mind because she was young and good looking and I actually didn’t mind getting up at the crack of dawn to see her.
She was very chatty and forthcoming and we talked at length about my previous tests and she showed me lovely diagrams and charts showing things like my peripheral vision and graphs of my pressures. She said she was quite impressed with my peripheral thing [for my age] and declared that apart from the very first visit when my pressure had been through the roof, that my pressure had not only stabilised perfectly but now now actually on the low side.
“That’s good then” says I. “It means there is less danger of cataracts?”
“Ah no” says she. “You already have cataracts but they’re not too serious…. yet.”
Fuck me but I wasn’t expecting that. She said it explained why my vision was a little bit fuzzy and there was a possibility that any new lenses wouldn’t work so well. Damn blast, bother, knickers and spit!
At some stage apparently I will have to subject myself to operations on my eyeballs which somehow makes me feel a bit squeamish. I don’t mind needles or blood or any of that stuff but there are two parts of me I would prefer to be left to their own devices – my teeth and my eyeballs. Herself says not to worry as she had one eye done and she said the stuff they inject you with gives a great high. She is sightly envious.
So my future is a little hazy at the moment.
Is it still the case that you have to wait for cataracts to get worse before they can take them away to make the eyes better?
I don't know. The Young One said there was no hurry and I have an appointment to see her again on the 24h March next. At least she expects me to live that long which is some consolation?
No, the idea that you have to wait until they are 'ripe' is a fallacy, however in the UK the NHS won't remove a cataract until it is near bad enough to prevent you driving. I suspect the same is true in Ireland.
I had both eyes done in Spain and I must say that it wasn’t that bad. An hour and half of putting eye drops in every so often and then prep and into surgery. I reckon it was about 15 minutes under the knife, awake all the time, and listening to the medics discussing Real Madrid. Painless and no pirate patch even. Drove a couple of days later.
Ah hold on…. having to listen to them discussing football, and you claim it was painless?
Don't worry about it, Grandad; it's a piece of piss. I've had both eyes done over the years, the left aged 60 and the right ten years later, and I drove home on both occasions. (Don't think I was supposed to, though, but what they didn't know…)
I'm a month off 81 now, and I only need 1X magnifiers (a quid a pair from Poundland) for reading, and I can count the leaves on a tree a hundred yards away.
Had mine done three years ago, at age 70, SWMBO had hers done a year later.
No trauma at all with the ops, I'm still astounded by my vision now.
"No trauma at all with the ops" I did have some trauma. I asked some weeks before the op whether I should stop taking the anticoagulants (Rivaroxaban). They said no I should continue taking them. After the op I went around looking like I'd gone ten rounds with a heavyweight boxer.
Just think of it as another step in becoming a cyborg. Eventually enough of your defective biological parts will be replace any and you can self identify as a robot.
They will usually ask if you prefer good distance vision or good close up vision. With the first you usually need reading glass. With the latter you may need glass to see far away. The operation itself is short and painless.
While not all medical systems give you a choice, try to get a doctor with a lot of experience performing the operation. They have better outcomes. Like most other things practice makes perfect.
I'm actually not really worried about the operation – I know the worry is all in the mind. The only real concern is that they give me perfect vision – after 65+ years of wearing glasses, can I learn to live without them?!