Report from inside a cocoon — 11 Comments

  1. If they ask my age, I shall lie. Either that or "none of your fucking business' works equally well.

    Good news a cat in Belgium has tested positive for CV-19

    Bad news two dogs in Hong Kong have been infected as well.

    How's the new pipe?

    • Bad news about the dogs all right.  I'll have to be more careful.

      New pipe is grand but it's getting very little use.  As the bowl is very close to the eyes and nose it's really for use where there is a breeze such as outdoors or in the car.  I'm not getting much of either lately.

  2. Being over 70 is NOT a crime.  Any one who asks is guilty of ageism – or worse.  Tell them to f**k off.  Keep up the good work, we are on your side.

    • Being over 70 isn't a crime, but the gubmint has declared that it is a snowflake age and must be treated with the greatest delicacy.  I am going to hang a bell around my neck next time I'm out and call "unclean – unclean".

  3. Dear Grandad

    If people ask, tell 'em you're 90 and you don't give an 'uck. And cough in their general direction.

    You could also point out you are a smoker and everyone (except ash et al) thinks smoking protects you from the virus, and cough in their general direction. You could then point out that second hand smoke (according to ash et al) is more effective than first hand smoke, and therefore you are doing them a favour, and cough again.

    I hope Herself and yourself keep well through this madness and you do not run out of baccy and fags.


    • Coughing in their general direction is now an arrestable offence [I kid you not].

      We are well stocked with both baccy and fags and have no intentions of running low.  If The Law tries to stop me I'll tell 'em it's essential medication.

  4. We have a saying amongst us free thinking yanks.  You ready?  Fuck the police! 


    • Do credit me with some intelligence and literary ability.  If I were to let out a string of curses I would be considerably more versatile with a grand string of non-repetitive invective.  That bloke is just an idiot.

  5. You do not look 70 so greet the Guard cheerfully and ask him how things are down in Skobieville. He'll be so pleased at the opportunity to tell you about how the skangers and knackers are ignoring the restrictions completely that he won't ask your age.

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