There is a whole new lexicon creeping into everyday language.
There is constant talk of “self isolation” “social distancing” and a few others, but the latest one to join the list is “cocooning”.
Our Dear Leader, The Tea Shirt Varadkar made a major address to the nation last night. He almost had me in tears as he talked of the terrible danger that was sweeping the land and how we must all pull together as a nation in these dark days. There was the inevitable “never has so much been owed by so many to so few” bit but he was talking about health staff not fighter pilots [I hope].
Part of the speech concerned “cocooning” those who were in greatest danger, namely the elderly and those with underlying conditions. As usual he failed to stipulate the precise definition of “elderly” or state what the “underlying conditions” are. The general consensus seems to be that seventy plus is elderly [puts hand up] and that underlying conditions seem to include pulmonary and coronary [puts hand up again] problems, so I seem to qualify on two counts.
I’m not quite sure what this cocooning entails. It conjures up images of being wrapped in fine silk threads and hung from a leaf but they hardly mean that? There is an “explainer” [another foul new word that implies that we are all idiots that need explanations for everything] which does little to clarify matters.
We are putting in place the systems to ensure that if you are one of them, you will have food, supplies and are checked on.
Am I to have special deliveries from Tesco escorted by a fleet of police or army? Am I to have a dedicated volunteer who periodically shouts through the letterbox to see if I’m okay?
Tesco and Lidl here have dedicated special shopping times for us Wrinklies where we have the shop to ourselves and have first dibs from the shelves. Unfortunately the special times consist of the first couple of hours in the day, when any sensible Wrinkly is fast asleep. A nice though but …
It’s when people particularly vulnerable to a condition like Covid-19 get extra special help from other people around them to help to protect them from even getting the disease. So it’s a little bit akin to self-isolation except it’s not just the self that’s doing it, it’s others around are helping with that.
So I am to be in “self isolation” but am to have a gang of people all pressing in around me offering to help? Sounds like a recipe for contagion?
Anyhows I shall await patiently to see what this cocooning actually entails.
In particular I shall watch out for Silkworms.
Th-This "C" word is rashist.
P, Pu-pretending tu-to hu-have a stu-stutter du-doesn't lu-let yoo off the h, hu-hook.
You do realise you could be blacklisted for a comment like that?
Something different sprung to mind when I read that…
So long as I don't have to be dumped into a swimming pool?
“you will have food, supplies and are checked on”
I think it’s a bit like when someone goes away on holiday and asks the neighbor to look after pets: “would you mind cocooning our cat/hamster/guinea pig while we’re away?”
Don’t forget to squeak loudly if they forget to refill your drinker 😉
(and all the best to you, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME inside that fluffy cocoon)
Be afraid, be very afraid. If you want facts and can digest loads of info, try this report from Imperial College: https://www.imperial.ac.uk/media/imperial-college/medicine/sph/ide/gida-fellowships/Imperial-College-COVID19-NPI-modelling-16-03-2020.pdf
One table in there shows death rates by age. It isn't good reading. The 3% standard that has often been quoted actually hides a much higher rate among older people.
Look after yourselves everybody, and be careful out there!!!!
Explanation – noun
Explainer – unnecessary and pointlessly made-up verb (used as a noun?)
You never know, you might become a butterfly.
There is a Monty Python cartoon, no doubt by Terry Guiliam, which I wish I could link to.