Always look on the bright side of life
The current Era of Madness does have its benefits.
Everyone is going around with long gloomy faces, staring at their smart phones to pick up the latest false rumours and bad news. What people don’t seem to realise is that there are quite a few benefits to all this panic.
First of all, today is Paddy’s Day [not Patty’s Day – anyone who uses that name knows fuck all about Ireland and is therefore an utter cunt]. Normally people would be thronging the streets wearing those stupid leprechaun hats and watching American marching bands getting frostbite. Not so this year. By decree, there shall be no false jollity so we can all live our lives in peace.
There is no sport. Well, precious little anyway, so the airwaves are free of endless football and rugby matches. Normally the evening news slot dedicates around a quarter [or more] of its time with tedious reports from the myriad of sports from football and boxing through to horse racing and golf. That’s gone now so they can dedicate the entire hour to doom and gloom reports on Captain Trips and its relentless progress.
There is also the added benefit that it has become simplicity itself to avoid the people I don’t want to talk to. All it takes is a not so subtle cough [into my hand, not my elbow] and off they run to the next parish.
So there seems to be an international shortage of long grain rice [I use quite a lot but ran out last night] but on the other hand we have a shed load of food for the two animals so we won’t starve. I’m sure they won’t mind sharing their stash?
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Whenever I buy cat food and wine at the same time I ask the cashier if they think that particular cat food goes well with that kind of wine. Sometimes they don't seem to be sure if I'm asking for myself or the cats.
Red wine for dogs , white for cats, pink for horses and budgies . I thought everyone knew…..
I have just returned from doing the usual weekly shop.There is a prominent notice at the front of the store proclaiming that no one is allowed to buy more than two promotional items.I noticed that there was less stock of all kinds on the shelves, particularly the Ibuprofen/Paracetamol shelves.Despite the warning about excessive buying, the checkout girls were taking stuff off some customers and having it returned to the shelves. We keep a stock of dry goods in anyway as here in New Zealand there is the ever present danger of earthquakes and it may be necessary to live off grid for a while until civilisation is returned.
I have a grand stock of dry goods myself which is just as well. Couldn't survive without tea or whiskey so I have a good supply of those. My hoard is mainly down to being up the mountains – no earthquakes, but frequently snow in Winter.
I am thinking of panic buying bottles of gin and bottles of tonic. Drink enough and the panic disappears.
If you are only thinking of it then it's probably too late.
Then I did it.