So my seventy first birthday has come and gone.
Yes I know it was supposed to be my seventieth, but everyone seems to forget the day I was born, which strictly speaking was my one and only birthday. The thought of being born seventy times is sort of mind boggling.
Anyhows, someone has mentioned somewhere that it’s time I took up a hobby.
Coincidentally, when Daughter was here the other day she unearthed my old stamp collection. I thought I had chucked it out years ago so I told her to keep it [probably doing myself out of a few hundred thousand in the process]. I never liked stamp collecting – it was just something my mother insisted on when I was a wee lad for some unknown reason.
Unfortunately my fascination with computers has waned somewhat though I do fire the laptop up occasionally. If I had something challenging like creating an intensely complicated website that might change but in the meantime I need something else.
Anything involving the outdoors is out for several reasons [apart from trips to the coffee shop]. That eliminates bowling, archery or polo, along with bungee jumping and parachuting.
So I am narrowed down to the indoors which is surprisingly limiting. I would love to take up flying again but I couldn’t fit a Cessna through the garage doors.
I thought of becoming a hypochondriac as that is virtually limitless in its scope but I don’t think Doc would be too pleased?
After a lot of thought, I think I have found the perfect hobby.
I think I’ll become a hoarder.
Just think – no more tidying or cleaning! I can just sit here and throw my junk on the floor. As the room fills up I can just move to another room which will have the added advantage of a change of scenery. It will save me a lot too, between canceling bin charges and not having to buy any more cleaning materials.
The future would be exciting too. As I crawled from one room to another at ceiling height, crunching over discarded old junk, rotting food and cardboard boxes I could pretend I was caving which also used to be a serious hobby of mine. And just think of the excitement of burrowing down and finding long lost treasures under the piles of shit!
Yes. I think hoarding is the answer.