Scratch that
The itch is back.
I’m not talking about some rather embarrassing little ‘problem’ best kept private for a doctor’s surgery or anything like that.
What I’m suffering from is the itch to write.
I thought I had finally gotten rid of that urge to write the Great Twenty First Century Novel; the book that would be on every English syllabus across the land and beyond. I have had a lovely long period of peace but now the itch is back.
I don’t know what has revived it. I haven’t had some brilliant inspiration or anything like that. It’s quite the opposite in fact. My mind is a blank. I have no theme, plot or indeed any kind of a story to tell. For fucks sake I can’t even think of something to write here so what fucking chance do I stand with an 80,000 word book?
Herself has made a few suggestions but they all either involve romance or could be written in a single sentence. She has suggested I write about my family and people I have known but I would be straying outside the realms of decency. Anyway I would have to make sure they were all dead before writing about them.
Why the hell did I ever start this scribbling lark?
I think you should write a book about diplomacy. After all, you have a plethora of ideas on that front, and plenty of practice 🙂
That sounds like the subject for a thesis! I know nothing about diplomacy – I prefer the blunderbuss approach.
Blunderbuss sounds good – go ahead then!
Okay. What's the plot line?
Ahm.
😉
But I second Smoking Scot that Penny's got to be there.
😉
Write on!
Why don't you try writing an interesting short story for your grandchildren?
For all the bs you imply, you dote on them.
The guy who did the Lord of the Rings actually started it for his kids, though WW2 meant he finished the trilogy for his grandchildren. The Hobbit jobbie was what started it all.
And the woman who does Harry Potter started it for her son.
Poo poo it all you like but rather than try to impress and do it for fame etc., why not just do a story for those you love?
This period in your life ain't going to be forever.
Penny's got to be there somewhere.
"Poo poo it all you like but rather than try to impress and do it for fame etc., why not just do a story for those you love?" The last thing on my mind is money or fame. And the only person I would write for is myself, as being a realist I know I would probably be the only one to read it.
Don’t know, but see or re-read that bit in Zen and the Art where he’s talking about describing a building.
IIRC he’s totally stuck. Then somebody (his Prof??) suggests to start by describing the topmost brick on the left hand side…
First brick – A rectangular shape about twice as long as it is high.
Next brick – ditto.
Repeat 80,000 times.
That could work?
How about a fictional who-done-it as told/written by a "Grandad" type personality with plenty of farce and satiric reflection of actual human societal behavior?
Sounds good to me. You just have to live long enough to finish it.
That's nearer the mark all right. If I ever get around to it, I imagine it would be something along those lines. As for time – it's taken me ten years or so and I still haven't put down the first word yet. Well, I have many times, but I keep erasing them.
Wait until 16th June and then write your own version of Ulysses!
(I spent years entering short story competitions and, last year, finally accepted I would never be a writer).
That would involve walking around Dublin for a whole day. No thanks!
But it would mean stopping for frequent refreshment!
Your strengths are your computer/IT/AI (whatever the current buzz-term is) skills, your life experience/cynicism and your humour.
Combine a spell/grammar checker, predictive text, and any other language (all languages – ancient, modern, foriegn, slang, even fictitious, as in Klingon, Elvish etc.) "app" (as we must now call these programs) with random number and letter generator.
This must be far more likely to produce an epic than the million monkeys.
And along the way some of the gibberish will win Turner and other trendy prizes.
Maybe even a piece that James Joyce, or more likely his posturing followers, would be proud of.
I could to that predictive text thing – Start off with a letter and then just keep accepting the first word PT suggests? That's bound to be a masterpiece?
What's this about not using family and people you have known? Don't you just use them all but change the names and locations then print a disclaimer about not representing any person living or dead? Not that I would know because the last thing I wrote was an essay in school.
"Some names have been changed to protect the guilty" ?
Troo – you might find the Devil in all that detail. As a Christian I could not encourage that. Consider my suggestion unsaid 🙂
PS: threading not working (under Firefox anyway)
Seems to work for me. Then again I didn't reply to anyone yesterday. Works today though (using Firefox that is).
Working here too.
Great to see, can’t keep you away.
🙂