Herself suggested I put up the Christmas Tree yesterday.
A “suggestion” from Herself is roughly equivalent to a decree signed by God, so for the sake of a quiet life I acquiesced. I suppose there is a remote possibility we might see the Grandkids over the next few days, but they have a long way to travel [about four hundred yards] so we play by ear. It would be nice though for them to see a tree if they ever do turn up.
Yes, I have an artificial tree. I have loads of proper trees and I could fell one of those, but none of our ceilings are sixty feet high so it would be a daft exercise trying to erect the tree indoors.
I hauled out the tree and assembled it. No sweat.
I hauled out the box of lights. There were a three or four plugs in the box so I plugged them all in. The box lit up. Great! At least some of them are still working. So I emptied the box on the floor and sort of separated the various strings of lights and found that two indeed were in fine shape. I wound one set around the tree and started on the second [and better] set. The only problem was that it had knotted itself.
I got out the bottle of whiskey and set to work.
It was one of those sets that’s a sort of zig-zag with stiffish wires and the bulbs kept poking themselves into loops. Every time I reckoned I had it sorted I discovered I had just moved the tangle further down the line. And the further down the line I got, the worse the tangle. It was like a Rubik’s Cube – you think you have it solved and the discover one corner out of kilter.
I then had a brainwave [the whiskey bottle was beginning to empty quite a bit]. I decided to unscrew one end of the loop from the plug and it would them become a simple act to untie all the knots.
So I searched the house and found a couple of screwdrivers. Back to the knot. I then discovered that the plug was sealed!
I now had two options. I could search the garage in the vain hope of finding a spare plug so I could cut the old one off and replace it, or I could just continue fiddling with the knot. I decided on the latter as the garage is too bloody cold to be messing around in. Anyways the whiskey bottle was nearing the bottom and I was losing the will to live.
A strange thing then happened.
In a moment of frustration I downed the last of the whiskey and poked at one of the bulbs. The last knot untangled itself and there on the floor was a pristine loop of lights waiting to be put on the tree!
I obviously work better with a belly full of whiskey?
‘I obviously work better with a belly full of whiskey?’
as do we all , hic
I’ll drink to that.
I’ll stick to wine,thank you.
Merry Christmas to all!!!
WINE? Good God. Only drinkable when the whiskey runs out.
I have to abstain altogether these days lest my guts fall out my bottom (which makes an awful mess). However, once out of the zig-zag packaging we wait until the tree comes down and then loop each strand of lights very carefully and place each strand in it’s own bag. Thus, the great holiday tangle is avoided. This didn’t solve the old problem of “one light goes out
the others stay litthey all go out” syndrome. So we ditched the old filament type mini-bulbs and changed over to the newfangled LED type mini-bulbs. Both problems solved, the lights look lovely, and no whiskey needed. I do miss my scotch though.
Merry Christmas to all!
A little suggestion: clothes hangers. See here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6bC8Phonuk
I use empty Pringle tubes to wrap lights arround. Put little hole/slot in side at closed end, big enough to hold endmost light, coil wire and lights right strong tube and with a bit of luck the plug will fit into open end.
I am sure that the containers of the better class of whisky/whiskey would serve as well, and revive happy memories.
Happy Christmas aged one. And to her upstairs.
I have a short length of plank [about a foot of old floorboard] with a screw in each corner. I wind the lights onto that but somehow they managed to come off and get tangled.
I blame the Grandkids.
Sounds like a “persuader”.
Depending on whether screw points protrude enough.
” ‘onest Occifer, it’s for me Christmas lights. “