On being a Necrophiliac
In this Post Sanity world we now live in, there seems to be an open competition to see who is the most risible.
A couple of weeks ago we had the strange case of a teacher telling six year olds to write an imaginary love letter from a king to his manservant! Now seriously, what the fuck is that all about? In my day I was taught to treat everyone with respect regardless, and at six I was blissfully unaware of sex in any form let alone any concept of special respect for anyone with a made up gender I have since modified that so that I treat anyone older than me with respect and anyone younger with varying degrees of contempt. Strangely enough, that becomes easier each year.
Then we had the Kleenex farce. “Man Size Tissues” that have been around for decades [and for some time as a mandatory item inside car rear windows] but now suddenly they are politically incorrect. Kleenex [the fucking wimps] have decided to change the brand because of “complaints”. Smack me with a wet haddock if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember any street protests? How many complaints? Thousands? Hundreds? My guess a a few keyboard warriors on Twitter.
Now it’s the so called Arts. Keira Knightly apparently has grave issues with “The Little Mermaid” because, from what I can gather, it’s not “The Little Merman”. Doubtless if the lead role was a merman there would be complaints that it was discrimination against women?
And Kristen Bell is complaining about Cinderella. From my somewhat sparse knowledge of the story, a prince kisses Cinderella thereby waking her from a magically induced sleep. Now this has been fine for many generations but now suddenly the poor prince is being accused at the very least of inappropriate sexual conduct up to and probably including rape.
Some years ago, I kissed my mother [on the forehead] without her permission which she would have been slow to give as she had just died.
Does that make me a necrophiliac?
No no! You have it wrong. Prince Charming (cis white male) fiddled with Cinderella’s feet to try on the glass slipper. The kiss came from a cis white male chauvanist pig who kissed Sleeping Beauty on the lips to awaken her without her consent, so it might have been a sexual assault? I think roMANce is over….
Were the slippers glass so His Lowness could see the reflection of her knickers? And I thought all cis white male chauvanist pigs in fairy tales were princes? I’m not very au fait with fairytales, apart from those but out by anti-smokers and warble gloamists.
Ropersonce?
At the risk of sounding like a panto-anorak, the legendary slippers never were glass.
It’s a mis-translation from the original French text, in which they were referred to as ‘de vers’ (of squirrel-fur), but in speech this sounds identical to the phrase ‘de verre’, meaning ‘of glass’ – hence the confusion when it was first converted from a verbal reference, but no-one ever got round to correcting it.
(Just to make it worse, the word ‘verre’ usually relates to glass in the form of a drinking-vessel, a tumbler etc – plain glass would usually be described using ‘vitrine’ – but you can’t really expect someone who confuses squirrel-fur to know any better).
The slippers were never glass, but in French were “de ver”. This was not a mistranslation but was in fact the brothers Grimm self-censoring.
A prince going round the village trying out the “fur slippers” of the village women to find one the correct size? No, no, can’t be writing that, let’s make up something about glass instead!
The Disneyfied version of Sleeping Beauty is the only one most folk know – I recommend checking out the original, unsanitised storyline – then the ‘mentrual militia’ would have something to chirp about. She certainly didn’t consent.
I read all the links (I had already read about the Kiera Knightly one previously) and I’d comment on this issue but I doubt anyone of the PC/radical feminist/snowflake persuasion would like it very much and I certainly do not wish to turn your comment section into a potential battlefield. Besides, you know me fairly well and you might imagine what I’d write.
I did have to look up the definition of “risible” though.
Go on. Let rip. It’s a long time since there was a battle on this site.
I second that 😉
Okay, you two. Unfortunately, life has kept me away from the ‘puter for the last few days so now I’ll have to read the post all over again inclduing the 3 linkages just to get all riled up once more. Not tomorrow though since the wife and I have to go to the bank to see about a house.
Why is it that the older you get life seems to interfere more and more in your (much desired) quiet life style?
What? You mean you missed out on all those speech defect sketches in ‘The Life of Brian’? Both funny and vocabulary expanding. you can’t beat that, even if they are non PC. 😉
Welease Wodga? Brilliant. A film I have seen several times and crack up each time. In fact, time to watch it again…..
Why are replies I made to comments that ended up in my mailbox, not showing here? What am I doing wrong?
Nothing! I sent you a mail.
Yup – thank you, I understand.