There is a couple I know of.

I’ll call ’em Annie and Bart.

Now Annie and Bart live in a modest bungalow which has a fair bit of land attached.  All well and good, except that their relationship is – how shall I say it? – tempestuous?

Now Bart decided he was sick of the fighting and decided to move out.  For some reason he decided not to move out too far though.  In fact he decided he was going to build a wee bunker on their land beside the bungalow and live in that, well inside missile range.

So he cordoned off a slice of land beside the bungalow, moved a caravan onto it and applied for planning permission to build his bunker.  He somehow got the permission and moved into his caravan.  But the latter wasn’t big enough to hold his stuff so he erected a couple of sheds on his strip as well.  All in all it was a bit of an eyesore.

Now Annie decided that if Bart was going to have a new house then so was she.  But she wanted a bigger house with loads of bedrooms and bathrooms with maybe a gymnasium or an indoor pool or whatever is so essential these days.  Whatever she built it had to be vastly bigger and more flash than Bart’s bunker.  She decided that this new mansion was to be built the other side of the old bungalow.

Now all this proposed construction was going to require a fair chunk of dosh, so they decided to sell the bungalow to raise said dosh.  They put it on the market, extolling the wonderful peace of the location and the plentiful gardens and at a price of about twice its worth.  They omitted to mention that it was on a no-man’s land between the local equivalent of North and South Korea.  A series of beautiful photographs appeared on-line mainly of the plentiful land, most of which was to become two building sites.

Having put the bungalow on the market Annie got impatient and started setting out her side of the site.  She ploughed a new driveway right through the front lawns that had featured in the photographs.  Then presumably she ran out of money leaving this strip of ploughed soil just outside the bungalow’s front door.

Surprisingly the bungalow failed to sell despite quite a few viewings.

Meanwhile the wars continued.  Like any decent DMZ the bungalow was overnight festooned with security cameras with large warnings on the gate about CCTV and the like.  This must have been her doing as he retaliated with large signs proclaiming in two foot high letters that there was a land dispute going on.

Still the bungalow surprisingly failed to sell.

The estate agent who at this stage must be very close to a nervous breakdown decided to have a word. He suggested that all these signs of near nuclear conflict, torn up soil and massive fences might not be conducive to a quick sale and maybe they should tidy the place up a bit?  So two pot plants appeared each side of the gate, but the cameras, the notices and the rest all remained.

The bungalow is still for sale.

Anyone like to buy a bungalow?  Guaranteed interesting neighbours?  Very secure location, with regular police presence?

Ideal for person with UN peacekeeping experience or the totally deaf.