The Number of the Beast — 10 Comments

  1. I was awoken this morning by a text from my younger Sister. Besides being the family Lore Keeper, Lil’ Sis is a librarian (for shame Sis, for shame!), and as the law requireth of her ilk, she is heavily ‘into’ cats (the day she starts wearing a twin set and pearls I WILL disavow any relationship). This morning she commanded me to secure from sources both divers and mildly illegal  as many epic-sods of a colonial television program called “My Cat From Hell”. No problem, this is what IMO Big Brothers with hi-speed internet connections are there for….besides discouraging suitors without at least a double first in something mildly esoteric such as Middle English and Feminist basket weaving.

    I sailed away to some piratical shore and secured the films. Of course after downloading, being not only a kind but conscientious elder sibling I  checked said films to see if they played ok before transferring them to the SD card Lil’ Sis had kindly dropped off to me on her way to that ‘work’ thing.

    I watched the first few minutes of S01E01 (for those who don’t speak ‘pirate’ that means the first ever episode of the first series of god knows how many, it’s been going a whiles). I was introduced to the ‘star’ of the program , a professional cat trainer who carries the tools of his trade around in a guitar case and drives a vintage cabrio (so he obviously doesn’t ply his ‘trade’ here in the UK). I watched it up to the point when he said

    “I have helped thousands of cats and their Guardians” (if he knew anything about cats he’d know the correct terminology for what used to be known as ‘owners’ is infact ‘slave’ or ‘cats-body’).

    • There is no doubt whatsoever that Herself is a slave.

      I, on the other hand would be more of a dungeon master.  Cat bends to my will whether he/she likes it or not.  Disobey me and feel the wrath of my size 11s.

      “My Cat from Hell” might be worth a look, all right.  Now I just have to pray that it mysteriously appears on my hard disk…..

    • I think I’ll stick with Phukkov.  It’s a name that just seems to trip naturally off my tongue.

      • I used to find “You fucking little shitface” delivered at full volume usually got my cat’s attention.

  2. My two respond when I call but I think it’s my voice they know rather than their actual names. If I am having steak they magically appear but don’t bother with any other food.

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