Starting badly
I’m really pissed off today.
I don’t know why. I’m not depressed or anything like that – just in bad mood.
Maybe it started with my waking early. I don’t know why I did but the heating hadn’t even fired up so it wasn’t a good start.
Then the cat started pissing me off as only the cat can. Apart from constant demands to go out or in the door [about a minute apart] he wailed at me a lot. I fed the little fuck but it was no good. If he wasn’t meowing at me he was sitting there with that evil look in his eye – you know the one – the one where he wishes he could somehow grasp his paw around a meat cleaver. In the end I started throwing pine cones at him and he finally got the message and fucked off.
Maybe it started when I had to traipse through the house to answer the door bell only to find a couple of Jehova’s Witnesses on the doorstep. They didn’t last long.
Now I’m waiting for the groceries to arrive. That means I have to have all the doors open ready and it’s windy today. Luckily it’s not too cold. Cold enough though.
I think I’ll go and attack the rose bushes with a chain saw while I’m waiting for the van. It’s about the time of year for it.
And I’m in the right mood to wield a chain-saw.
I know the feeling but as I have no cat to throw things at and no dog to kick, on those days I go find some BrexSShiteurs to make cry by reminding them exactly whose foot is in that kitten heeled jackboot trampling through the wheat fields of our remaining civil liberties. Puerile and mean of me I know but it releases tension wonderfully.
The best bit of the grocery order is seeing just how ‘surreal’ the subs are and just how long a ladder I will need to mount up afterwards to email them.
You should have seen the wheat fields of Ireland after the EU/Troika jackboots trampled through them!
The grocery order arrived and sadly there were no substitutions – they just omitted the fucking items altogether.
Did you use the chainsaw on the Witnesses?
Good grief no! Have you any idea what a mess it would make of my front garden? I’d be picking bits of bone and flesh out of the hedges for weeks.
Yes, a chainsaw would make a frightful mess. Definitely to be avoided, that one. I may have said this before, but I’ve heard that a twelve bore shotgun with cartridges packed with rock salt is very effective. Extremely painful but rarely fatal. And will handily salt your frozen driveway at the same time. Win win, wouldn’t you say?