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Update your anti-virus — 19 Comments

  1. So in order to visit you, we have to wear rubber gloves and a mask. I have a pink little number somewhere in the wardrobe. Will that do?

     

    :O)

  2. I doubt it was Noro because you wouldn’t be posting. You KNOW when you have Noro (Aged Mother Dwarf & Younger Brer Dwarf were on that Plague Ship a few years back which was quarantined off the northern most tip of Scotland after one of the passengers died -the ‘Marco Polooooooooo nooooooooooo’ I think it was called).

    But fret ye not, there are no end of ‘lesser variants’ – your’s sounds something like the ‘Little Round Virus’ Which tends to burn itself out within a day…having explosively emptied everything.

    So sit down and enjoy the ride….

    • You have no idea of the agonies I suffer just to scribble here. Norovirus is apparently running rampant here again. It happens every year and they have to close whole hospitals.

      Anyway I couldn’t give a shit what it is.

      Well, actually I did…… 😐

      • “It happens every year and they have to close whole hospitals.”

        Same here, our glorious “envy of the world” NHS relies on it to cull all the bed blocking OAPS.

  3. Undigested carrots? This is at 7 am?

    Assume the man had evening meal at about 7.30 pm, so close to 11 hours in your stomach. Veggies are usually the easiest and quickest to digest, so there’s a problem and it ain’t with the carrots.

    Whenever I upchuck, I always know what caused it by thinking of what I ate in the previous 12 to 18 hours – find it repulsive.

    I do have a problem with too much salt as well, with soya sauce and gravy granules sometimes causing tummy cramps, hellish sweats and out at both ends, followed by more cramps and having to lie down, once on the floor, it was so bad.

    If neither nor is the issue with yourself then do – please – monitor these events, because you’ve been talking about various yuck stuff that’s happening this winter.

    Regular tummy cramps, stools getting narrower, blood in them (looks like pinkish jelly), headaches and one that seldom gets a mention – nose bleeds. All signs of bowel cancer.

    Actually very easy to detect with a bunch of tests from a blood sample. CEA being one. Outcome’s pretty darned good if got early.

    How do I know about this? Living it Pop’s is how.

    • I will be quite honest here and admit that I didn’t examine “it” too closely. It was the Daughter who mentioned the carrots and maybe she was just assuming, as diced carrots are reportedly ubiquitous in up-chuck. You only have to wander the streets of Dublin [especially around Temple Bar] to see the proof of this.

      Thinking back, this is the first stomach upset [for want of a better word] that I have had in at least twenty years. The last time was after eating shellfish in one of Dublin’s up-market restaurants. I got a free meal out of that one.

  4. “That explains the diced carrots on the lawn”

    If yae cannae understand the accent, jump forward to time 3:40, or 4:30 for the diced carrot bit…

    • I recall upon going to Scotch land to work as a fresh faced ‘young adult’ in the 80s, suddenly being confounded by the difference between The Big Yin and Billy Connolly-toned-down-for-Brits. Funny thing was the Scotch kids I worked with were all amazed when I said I liked Connolly, they hadn’t realised he was famous in England and spoke so that us Brits could understand him.

       

    • One of my favourite stand-ups of his! I think that was the first time I came across the “diced carrots” theory. And who can forget the “Pint of Crème de Menthe”? 😀

  5. “If it’s that contagious it can probably travel over the Interweb.”

    I’ll be ok – I wrapped a condom round the ethernet cable connector…

  6. Well, after my ISP installed a new modem/router yesterday, my Internet connection speed has now halved. So I probably won’t catch whatever you had until maybe some time next week. (I just love the march of technology. Not!)

    • That is indeed the epitome of modern progress. I presume that sometime next week, you’ll visit this site and infect me all over again?

  7. Not to worry. I’ve sprayed my display with hospital grade disinfectant so I’m safe enough for now. I jsut have to finish typing this comment before the screen dissolves comple…

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