I didn’t get much sleep on Monday night.
In fact all I got was a series of half dozes, while the rest of the night was spent reading books, wandering the house and generally cursing. The problem was that I had a sort of stomach cramp that just wouldn’t go away and was very fucking uncomfortable.
At around seven I got pissed off and got up. I went to let the dog out, and while I was at the garden door I had an “incident” that caught me completely by surprise. I went into the bathroom as soon as I reckoned the “incident” had passed so I could clean myself up. While I was there I had a different “incident”, and it was extremely fortuitous that I happened to be where I was. At least the stomach cramps had disappeared.
Yesterday evening Daughter called around. She commented that I looked a bit peaky and asked what was wrong. I told her about my lack of sleep and the little incident outside the back door.
“Ah!” says she, “That explains the diced carrots on the lawn. Was it projectile?”
“Like a fucking firehose!” says I.
“No, that came after.”
I should explain that Daughter is a semi-trained paramedic or something so she has a morbid interest in all things to do with the body. I asked her why she was so alarmed at a drop of Norovirus and she explained that it is extremely contagious and very difficult to eradicate and that it would probably come back to bite me a week of so after I thought it was gone. Apparently I can infect myself or something. Leastwise she backed away from me hastily, grabbed her stuff and ran. Daughters can be so fickle?
So I hope all my readers have their anti-virus stuff up to date? If it’s that contagious it can probably travel over the Interweb. After all, second hand smoke can apparently travel through telephone wires?
You have been warned.