There are three little words that guarantee a call for the Nanny State.

Ban [or Banned].  Protect.  Children.

You can throw in “research” as an optional one, but it crops up too frequently and usually just heralds a call for more funding somewhere.

Anyhows, today we have a classic call to the Nannies with all three keywords in the headline –

Should window blinds with accessible cords be banned to protect children?

Oh do fuck off!

A child hangs itself on a blind cord.  Who is to blame?  The child?  The parents?  The manufacturer?  The installer?  Or the State?  The simple answer is none of the above.  Some would say that the parents are to blame but no one can foresee every danger in the home.  Homes are full of potentially lethal items, from sharp knives through electricity to poisons.  Even a staircase is potentially harmful.  So do we ban everything?

There is only one way to “protect” a child against all hazards and that is to lock it in a room with padded walls and no windows [glass can be lethal?].  Feed the child tofu through the keyhole and Bob’s your uncle.  Child protected and safe.  Child will grow into a quivering jelly of fear and will have no notion of danger or threat.  If it survives to adulthood it will be mentally and physically incapable of coping with the modern world, even assuming it’s still relatively sane.  Child is a mess, but at least it’s “safe” and that is the be all and end all, isn’t it?

So what’s next if these mimsey little fucks get their way? Knives and forks to be banned, or at least made of rubber?  All kitchen utensils?  All glassware?  All edges and corners to be rounded and padded with foam?  Anything over three feet off the ground in case it falls?  All animals?  All electricity and gas?  All people? [Is it coincidence but whenever there is a murder, there is usually a person involved?]

How the fuck did we survive for the last ten thousand years without Nanny?