You never know where danger lurks
I received a rather alarming email just now.
Well, actually I receive a lot of emails telling me how to cure Tinnitus or lose vast amounts of fat [for some reason, the world at large seems to think I am obese?], but that’s beside the point.
This one is particularly alarming as it warns me of an imminent danger to my very life itself. And it’s a Public Health Warning so it must be accurate honest and truthful?
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Northwestern Health Awareness
Public Safety Alert: Nail Fungus Can Enter Your Bloodstream Causing Serious Illness
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Reference No. NWM-13107730
11/03/2017
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Fuck! I’m shitting myself already……
If you’re infected with toenail fungus, the biggest mistake you can ever make is to think this is nothing serious. Those seemingly innocent white spots on your nail are a sign you shouldn’t ignore.
This short video presentation shows the dangers of untreated nail fungus,
Here–>
No. I’m not going to embed a video. It slows down the whole site.
The number of serious cases with people suffering from toenail fungus is increasing at an alarming rate in America.
Your thick, yellow, brittle nails are a warning that a dangerous micro-organism has already attacked your immune system and can lead to serious infections that spread beyond your feet.
An untreated fungus can enter your bloodstream and become life-threatening.
Nail infections, and more importantly, the prescription drugs you are taking to cure your toenail fungus can cause serious harm.
This newly discovered, natural treatment instantly reduces more than 30% of toenail infection overnight. Nine out of ten people were completely fungus-free in as few as 2 weeks.
Before your innocent nail fungus becomes life threatening, please watch this brief information video, Only Here>>>
I repeat – videos will only cause problems.
My toenails are rather thick, I confess. I don’t know quite what their made of, but it’s not the normal stuff that can be cut with clippers. I used to trim mine using a Stanley Knife but the blades kept snapping so now I use wire cutters.
One thing they aren’t is brittle. I have to nibble slowly from the edge in with the wire cutters and it takes a while and can make quite a mess on the carpet. I have to keep shooing the dog away in case she thinks they are bits of bone.
I don’t think they are particularly yellow. To be honest I don’t spend much time staring at them. They are just there, at my furthest extremity so they do tend to get a tad ignored.
The only interesting thing that makes my toenails unique is that I only have nine of ’em. Back when I was a kid I had ingrown toenails [the email above doesn’t mention them] and a kackhanded surgeon made a bollix of removing one. He did remove it all right but left a bit of root behind which now grows vertically as a spike out of my bald big toe. It looks like a rhino horn but is a lot tougher and a right bugger to trim. I use bolt cutters for that one.
So there you have it folks.
Forget your huge waistline and your Islamic terrorists. Even forget smoking.
The greatest threat to your life is right there at the end of your foot.
I get loads of emails promoting hard-on tablets. Amazingly they started arriving on my 50th birthday and have continued ever since. Maybe there is some sort of research that says that your dick suddenly fails to work on your 50th birthday. I also get tinnitus emails although as a tinnitus sufferer I have to say that nothing I have ever seen or heard helps at all!
Welcome Busted [?]! The Hard-Ons have been arriving for as long as I can remember and also a load of offers of Russian Brides [some of whom would probably negate any need for a pill?].
The latest weirdness though is offers of vouchers. They are all for $50, £50 or €50 and are generally “rewards” for shopping in places I have barely heard of. I have certainly never been in a Walmart in my life so why are they sending me rewards?
The answer to Tinnitus is simple – just learn to tune it out. Works for me most of the time.
I’ve had toenail fungus for many years. It comes and goes, but has never invaded anywhere else. Do you suspect a little overdone hype to try to sell you something?
A Public Safety Alert trying to sell us something? Never!
This brings back memories of visiting the USA in the 1990s, shortly after my niece was born; a jet-lagged aunt turns out to be just the thing for a household with a wakeful new baby so the infant and I spent a lot of nights watching TV.
The ad breaks during these early-hours marathons were almost entirely devoted to convincing viewers to rush out and buy the latest treatment for backache/indigestion/piles etc – I suppose insomniacs are something of a soft target for miracle cures – and included frequent repeats of a paranoia-inducing commercial for nail fungus cream suggesting much the same as your ominous e-mail. It quite put me off my cocoa, I can tell you!
Meanwhile, is it just me or is there something more than a little epic in the tale of Nine-toenailed Grandad and the Spike of Doom?
The problem with the end of my foot is that for some reason it insists on kicking stupid cunts up the backside…!
And I have the added advantage of the rhino horn!
Toenail fungus can be got rid of, but it takes a long time, particularly if you’ve left it long enough for it to reach right down to the bottom of the toenail. I had a fungal infection in one of my big toenails for years and tried loads of over-the-counter remedies before I found one that worked for me (Boots’ own brand, if you’re interested). Just for the record, a colleague of mine with the same problem went via the prescription pills route and said that didn’t work, either. The main thing to remember is that even if you find a paint-on medication that works, it takes AGES and you have to persevere for a very, very long time and not give up hope (forget the promises that they all make of “seeing an improvement in two weeks” or whatever – that’s all rubbish). I finally cleared mine after applying the treatment EVERY NIGHT WITHOUT FAIL for over three years – it had to be applied right up until the infection had completely grown out. And toenails (as I now know) take a very, very long time to grow.
But thick toenails don’t necessarily mean a fungal infection. My little toenails, like yours, Gramps, grow as thick as they do long (sometimes more so), but that’s due to damage to the nail bed (wearing extraordinarily high stiletto heels for work for many years, in my case, but just badly fitting shoes or an injury will do it, too). This, my wise chiropodist tells me, can’t be changed or “cured.” Once they’re damaged so badly that they grow very thick, they stay that way and even surgical removal of the nail won’t make them grow back at normal thin-ness (as your experience indicates very clearly). My solution is to file them down to a reasonable thin-ness using a rather nifty little electric gizmo (a bit like one of those Dremmel rotating tools) which I actually bought to file down our dog’s claws, but which the dog won’t let anywhere near her feet. But it works perfectly on mine!
Oh, and I get the hard-on sales pitch too – which shows a stunning lack of market research on behalf of these – err – “companies,” in view of the fact that I don’t happen to possess the necessary organ to get hard in the first place!