It is going to rain in Ireland in the future.

Wow!  Isn’t that a surprise?  I am stunned.

According to Dr Saji Varghese.[now there’s a grand old Irish name?] we are to expect a 30% increase in “extreme” weather sometime in the future.  I would have thought that anything that fluctuates is bound to have extremes sooner or later.  But pointing that out would somehow spoil the plot?

Yes, we will have storms in the future.  We will have heatwaves and cold spots, fog and frost, floods and droughts, miserable days and happy days.  Some years will be warmer than others and other years won’t.  That’s what you get when things are in a state of constant flux.  The climate will change for better or for worse, because that is what it has always done since the dawn of time, and hopefully it  will continue to change.  In fact I would be deeply worried if it didn’t change as that would mean all planetary motions had ceased and we were all due to vanish up our arses.  Or something.

Naturally the good doctor goes into a tailspin and tells us in effect that the only way to prevent that house on the banks of the Shannon from flooding again is to go back to an agrarian economy where crops are harvested with scythes and the humble horse is the only mode of transport.

Next he’ll be saying that the recent spate of earthquakes are cause by soldiers all marching in step in North Korea?

I must pass that notion on to Trump?