I don’t know what happened yesterday.
Everything was running along smoothly as per normal, when one of my web sites sneezed.
Now it was a small sneeze – nothing that would warrant a day off work, let alone a doctor’s certificate – so I wiped its nose and forgot about it.
Then fuck me but all my sites suddenly went arse over tit. Now I have quite a few and for them all to go at once meant something serious. I checked the Interwebs but there was no mention of a nuclear attack so I assumed it was something else.
After a brief bit of testing I discovered the problem – no power in the server farm. I can only presume that the cleaners had pulled out the plug to the servers so they could plug in the floor polisher. I waited and sure enough after an hour and a half, they plugged the servers in again and all my sites reappeared.
The cleaners are now sacked. It shouldn’t have taken that long to polish one fucking floor.
I thought that was the end of it, but it wasn’t.
A couple of sites sneezed. Then a couple more had coughing fits. There seemed to be some sort of contagious illness running riot around the farm. I won’t call it a virus because that would make all the other servers nervous, but there was something afoot.
There was little I could do as I wasn’t going to drive to the farm and it was getting late. I decided to sacrifice a goat or two. That didn’t work. I disembowelled a kitten but that had no effect either. I sacrificed one of the neighbour’s first-born and that seemed to do the trick. All the sites stopped showing symptoms…..
…. except this one.
I tried everything else I could think of and a few things I hadn’t though of but poor old Rambles was in a potentially lethal coma.
I went to bed.
This morning it was back in the land of the living again. But only just. It had been in a coma for nearly ten hours, had only just woken up and was now muttering about seeing tunnels with bright lights at the end.
I don’t know how long it will last. I don’t know if it has just gone into remission with plans to die later today. Maybe it’s just doing the rounds of all the sites that link to it, saying a fond goodbye.
Or maybe it just needed a break.
I suppose now I had better go and apologise to the neighbour?