I have been somewhat busy today.

Sunday, as you know, was Herself’s 70th birthday.  The house filled and the house stayed full.  There were women everywhere.  There was only one bloke apart from myself and the cat, so we bunged the cat into a bedroom and the two of us retired to the shed with a bottle of whiskey.

Yesterday, to put it mildly, the house was in a bit of a state.  There were still a couple of guests who were wandering around the garden looking lost so I steered them gently out the gate and decided to leave the cleaning up to Herself.  Unfortunately she was comatose all day so I just left it and her.

Today she’s into the hangover phase [fuck! I remember the old days when she could handle her gargle and a bottle or two of vodka was nothing!], and as a result is unapproachable.  I decided that maybe something should be done as I was tired of tripping over balloons and empty plates and glasses.  Also the huge banner someone had stuck on the wall had fallen down taking some of the paintwork with it.  Never use Sellotape on a painted wall.

Now there was one small problem.  My Darling Daughter obviously at some stage in proceedings had decided it would be a bit of a wheeze to pour a packet of confetti all over Herself.  This was fine and dandy, and I’m sure everyone had a great laugh but now the fucking stuff is everywhere.

The confetti is just tiny silver hearts and it is now throughout the house.  It is in my clothing, up the stairs, on the animals, on any flat surface you care to mention and out into the garden.  Walking though the house at night is weird – thousands of little shimmery things beneath my feet as if I were walking on a star-field.  They are impossible to pick up is they are so thin.

I whacked out the vacuum cleaner and did the floor, the tables, the walls, the surfaces, the toilet bowl [I did say they got everywhere?] and the dog.  I didn’t bother vacuuming the garden though.  I know my limits.  The place is now relatively heart free, but no doubt they will continue to appear for months and years to come.  The inside of the dustbin looks like a picture of the Andromeda Nebula.

On the plus side, I found an unopened bottle of Prosecco Spumante.

My little reward for a morning’s work?