It surely is one of the greatest mysteries of our times.
How on earth did we survive before we had the Nanny State to look after us?
Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently people have been cutting themselves on this “must have” fruit so they have to be warned of this terrible danger to life and limb. Our great friend and saviour of mankind Jamie Oliver has even stepped in to make a video on how to cut a fruit. How could we survive without Jamie Oliver?
Now I would have thought that at this stage in evolution people would be aware that knives may, possibly, remotely, by chance be sharp and that therefore it isn’t such a good idea to be careless with them? Or maybe there should be a large warning label stating that “this knife may have sharp edges”?
In my day, we somehow knew that knives were sharp. We also knew that kettles could contain hot liquid, that a match could create fire which could burn things, and that it wasn’t such a great idea to drink caustic soda. I don’t ever remember seeing any warning labels so how the fuck did we survive? Granted poisons which were freely available over the chemist’s counter usually came in a brown bottle marked “poison”, but then loads of other liquids came in similar bottles so maybe a warning was warranted in that case.
Somehow we miraculously knew how to cope with life without being inundated with warnings about the inherent dangers lurking in everyday items.
Or maybe things just weren’t as dangerous? Maybe all our knives were blunt and we made tea using lukewarm water? We know that second hand smoke hadn’t even been invented and the smoke from cigarettes was, at worst, a minor irritant to some intolerant people.
Or maybe things were just as dangerous in those days, but Darwin nicely removed the complete morons from the gene pool?
Or maybe we were just more intelligent? Maybe we could see that a knife was sharp and could deduce from that that it could possibly cut fingers?
Or maybe people these days are just fucking thick?