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A sharp reminder

Head Rambles Posted on by

It surely is one of the greatest mysteries of our times.

How on earth did we survive before we had the Nanny State to look after us?

I came across a piece yesterday over at The Foggy Mirror which in turn pointed me towards an article – Doctors call for safety warnings on avocados.

Yes, you read that correctly.  Apparently people have been cutting themselves on this “must have” fruit so they have to be warned of this terrible danger to life and limb.  Our great friend and saviour of mankind Jamie Oliver has even stepped in to make a video on how to cut a fruit. How could we survive without Jamie Oliver?

Now I would have thought that at this stage in evolution people would be aware that knives may, possibly, remotely, by chance be sharp and that therefore it isn’t such a good idea to be careless with them?  Or maybe there should be a large warning label stating that “this knife may have sharp edges”?

In my day, we somehow knew that knives were sharp.  We also knew that kettles could contain hot liquid, that a match could create fire which could burn things, and that it wasn’t such a great idea to drink caustic soda.  I don’t ever remember seeing any warning labels so how the fuck did we survive?  Granted poisons which were freely available over the chemist’s counter usually came in a brown bottle marked “poison”, but then loads of other liquids came in similar bottles so maybe a warning was warranted in that case.

Somehow we miraculously knew how to cope with life without being inundated with warnings about the inherent dangers lurking in everyday items.

Or maybe things just weren’t as dangerous?  Maybe all our knives were blunt and we made tea using lukewarm water?  We know that second hand smoke hadn’t even been invented and the smoke from cigarettes was, at worst, a minor irritant to some intolerant people.

Or maybe things were just as dangerous in those days, but Darwin nicely removed the complete morons from the gene pool?

Or maybe we were just more intelligent?  Maybe we could see that a knife was sharp and could deduce from that that it could possibly cut fingers?

Or maybe people these days are just fucking thick?

 

 

Comments

A sharp reminder — 13 Comments

  1. I’ve been saying this for years. We have public health telling us every week that this is bad your health, that is bad for your health. Bacon causes cancer, insufficiently cooked meat give you food poisoning. Stay out of the heat of sun because that gives you cancer etc etc etc

    Given all this stuff we are apparently too stupid to know for ourselves (and our ability to smell quality bullshit when we see it), then how the fuck did the human race ever evolve to it’s current state ?   I mean how could we have survived the industrial revolution, the plague, countless wars and so on without the guidance and advice of ‘public health’. We should have been extinct thousands of years ago, instead of the Neanderthals.

    Come to think of it, that answers a few questions. The Neanderthals didn’t die out. They evolved into Public Health officials and worse ….. POLITICIANS !!

    No wonder we are so fucked !!

  2. I smell a scam or is that a scheme (a secret or underhanded plan; plot) to justify their existence and of course the money paid to perpetrate said scam/scheme, just saying.

    • It just seems to be the thing to do these days.  I trip over a loose paving slab and immediately start a campaign to have all paving slabs clearly marked “this slab may be loose”.  It’s bad enough that idiots need warnings, but even worse that there are people out there who think we need warnings.

  3. It’d be funny, if it wasn’t so depressing. (Perhaps only accredited chefs should have access to sharp knives? On the other hand, chefs are known to cut themselves.)

    • Maybe they’ll introduce a kitchen test which you have to pass before getting a cutting licence?

  4. Simple solution buy stainless gloves, they dont cost that much cheaper than stitches, everybody will cut thereselves one time

    • An even simpler solution – let ’em bleed.  I have sliced myself far too many times to count and have the scars to prove it.  But of course the poor little snowflakes have to rush to their nearest ER demanding urgent attention for a little cut.

    • Now I never would have worked that out for myself.

      Personally I would be worried by that warning…. MAY get hot?  I would prefer one that said “WILL get hot”.  More reliable sounding?

  6. I knew society was headed down the toilet when I first saw a warning on a paper wrapped single toothpick saying: “Do not stick sharp end into gum line”. When people need warnings about not poking holes into their gums with toothpicks then I think it’s time for me to go back to sea on a submarine and stay there. As far as I know there’s no nanny state underwater.

    • My favourite is the notice on a packet of peanuts:

      “WARNING – This packet may contain nuts”.

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