Inimitable — 17 Comments

  1. Strangely enough whilst out walking this lunchtime with The Bestes Frau In The World I was mentally composing another guest post for you (The Bestes Frau is quite used to me muttering whilst we walk ‘fucking fuckheads dickwads fuck fuckitty fuckers’ although she assumes i have the tourrettes from years of alcohol abuse)…well more an uber-brain fart really…entitled “Attack Of The Zombie Pipe Smoking Luxembourg Nazis”…

    …and even more strangely ,it was not about Juncker.

    • You don’t qualify under the standards of the above.  You [unlike Julia, Chris or the others] are welcome any time.  Especially if it’s about pipe smoking.

  2. Hell, I get the same type emails all the time and I barely write anything anymore. Seems like every time I update the site or a plugin the “Can I submit a post to your blog” type emails increase like these idiots are just waiting in the shadows for the cache to be cleared on my old site. “Oooo, his cache just cleared! Bark bark, bark, bark!”

    • They seem to be on the increase here.  I get several a day now.  Got a new approach today – a bloke apologising for  crime!  He reckoned he did an illegal port probe of the server and wanted forgiveness.  I should think so too.  I object to my ports being probed.

  3. Oh gawd, BD, I hope it’s not going to be a filth filled diatribe like last time. I had to stick my fingers in my ears while I read it!

    Why don’t you write about something nice, like fairies at the bottom of the garden?

    Although I’m sure you’d probably have them cottaging in the garden shed, knowing you.

    Oh, off at a tangent, talking about garden sheds, I have to say your description of the contents of a garden shed (I can’t remember now where or when you left it) was a masterpiece. I meant to say so at the time, but forgot. I should have saved it for posterity. Ten out of ten for that one, my boy.

    • What filth diatribe?  Oe of mine?  One of the Dwarf’s?  One of your own?

      Unlike yourself, I don’t ever remember writing about the contents of my garden shed.  Frankly I would like to find that as I haven’t a clue what’s in it now.  The bolt has rusted solid and I couldn’t be bothered unrusting it.

      • No no, not you, GD, one of the Dwarf’s posts. And I can’t remember where I read his comment on a garden shed (Legiron, perhaps?), but it was one of his more memorable comments. I meant to click on the ‘reply’ button to his first post above, but obviously fucked up. It’s my age, you know.

    • “cottaging in the garden shed”…oh right…’fairies’…I see what you did there…how very homophobic of you. Remind me to never link you to my story which contains the rather nice phrase “Only thing pure and virginal that meal time was the olive oil, which was probably what I was going to have to use to lube his bum with unless the girlfriend had remembered to get some more KY in”


      (No I’m not gay but I’m an equal opportunities porn writer, a cosmopolititan PERV-eyour of filth)

  4. Do fairies exist? This is a deep metaphysical question which Irish poets (like Yeats and George Russell AE) have addressed and failed to answer conclusively. My granny told me that fairies dance and sing in ring fort ‘raths’ – but only when nobody is around to hear and see them. Presumably, if folklorists place hidden cameras and tape recorders in raths the crafty fairy buggers will be too clever to be caught out by sophisticated intelligence-gathering equipment. However, in Wales, a walker happened to take countryside photos not long ago and when the photos were scrutinised he spotted what look like fairies. Now similar things have happened with photographers around Loch Ness.

    • Hmmmm.  Take a very blurred image and add a drop of imagination with a pencil?  Mayflies or dragonflies.  Possibly I know some fairies in the village, but I never asked as to their proclivities.

  5. Ah… You’ve arrived. Guest post spam. Welcome to the club. They seem to have given up on me. Another little scam (give it time) is when they want to syndicate your work to major news outlets. They get a fee from the outlet and you get a nice warm glow.

    • Hah! I arrived a long time ago, but just recently they racked up several notches.  I very much doubt if any news outlet would dare print my musings?  I actually considered that I had arrived when, not only did I grow my own Troll, but got onto Supershadow’s reading list.

  6. Dearest Sir,

    I am humbled at your invitation of a guest post. I am Mrs Rose Williams from Cote d’Ivoire. My late husband, God rest him, was Mr Charles Williams who worked for the government . . .

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