I am constantly amazed at how my simplest little efforts always manage to offend someone.

You Foolish man.

And Good Day to you too, Supershadow.

I refer of course  to your article ‘World health day’

Why would you need to ask what you should do on this day? Surely its all in the title? Is their any intelligence between those ears of yours?

Actually the title is more than a little ambiguous.  Three words that are just that – three words that imply that the world has to spend a day doing something with health, but that’s as far as it goes.

World Health day is about having mindful empathy with your body. Is it any wonder you cant stop drinking and smoking and belittling those who oppose obesity. 

Maybe they should have called it World Mindful Empathy with the Body Day then?  Just sayin’?

Remember Grandad to conquer others requires force; to conquer oneself requires enlightenment.

What’s all this about conquering?  You’re getting very aggressive?  I have no wish to conquer others, or indeed myself.  That statement could be construed to be incitement to violence.  You want to watch yourself in these days of the Snowflake.  You never know who you are going to offend.

If you can eat one less McDonald burger, smoke one less cigarette on this day you have made progress.

I am way ahead of you there, SS.  I haven’t ever eaten a McDonalds burger and I smoked my last cigarette nearly fifty years ago.  Surely I deserve some credit for that?

Where will you be when the Obesity apocalypse arrives? Where will you be when all those junk-food addicted children are grown up, their stomachs exploding all over the side walks from years of junk food induced acid re-flux? Maybe when that day comes you’ll shut down your website in shame and exile yourself to a tropical island like that bishop who fathered a child in your country.

I am not in the least worried about the Obesity Apocalypse.  When all those crazed porkers start craving a taste of my flesh I will just walk away.  I can outpace a 600lb zombie any day.

And what the fuck does Bishop Casey go to do with the price of ammunition?

Of course  this is really a legacy issue. OLD TV and films are impressionable and are ultimately responsible for keeping the idea of smoking and drinking the norm. Look at Bogart constantly with a cigarette in his mouth.

Recently at a Jedi council  brainstorming session we were discussing this exact issue and one of our members came up with an ingenious idea:

Simply digitally remove all inappropriate unhealthy behaviors from these old movies and replace them with healthy ones. 

I hate to tell you this SS, but you are way behind in the game.  Your Anti-Smoker friends came up with that idea a long time ago

Take for example again the movie the ‘Good the bad and the ugly’. Clint Eastwood is seen regularly smoking a disgusting unhealthy cigar. The idea would be to digitally remove the cigars in each scene and replace them with a Celery stick. Eli wallach’s whiskey scenes could easily be replaced with  carrot juice or green tea.

 

[I think I just wet myself.] 

Yes – I can just see that the very sight of Clint Eastwood chewing on a celery stick would strike terror into the hearts of any bandit.

I’m not sure of the significance of the image you included but I used it anyway.

Another issue highlighted during this brainstorming session is how many of these Awareness days are not promoted enough or people don’t know about them. 

One suggestion was to write to the UN to add an ‘Awareness’ awareness day. On this day the public would be encouraged to be more ‘aware’ of these international causes of global importance. 

That is an excellent idea.  It does have one minor flaw though [can you see where this is heading?].  If there is an Awareness Awareness Day then you would have to promote it somehow or else people wouldn’t be aware of it.  So you would have to have an Awareness Awareness Awareness Day, which people would still not be aware of so you would have to have an Awareness Awareness Awareness Awareness Day, and so on ad infinitum.  Well, surely you saw that coming?

Of course all the Awareness days in the world cannot mitigate against bad opinion or the poor example your website gives to the impressionable and the young.

That’s okay.  I would just hold a Rambles Awareness Day that would nicely undo all the UN’s hard work.

Once again the jedi would provide the appropriate public servants to deal with these issues:

The Awareness Steering Champion (ASC) will be responsible for combating  smoking and alcohol propaganda,  leveraging  best practice for schools, community organisations with regards to sustainable, ecological and health-giving core competences.

And once again, you are way behind.  Our gubmints already have a programme of brainwashing unfortunate kids with their propaganda.

The question is Grandad where is your buy in  all of this? Will you continue to stand on the burning platform of your website? Or will you take your absurd opinions offline and stop grabbing at the low hanging fruit of aggressive mediocrity. The Aggressive mediocrity of climate change denial and unhealthy living. 

“the low hanging fruit of aggressive mediocrity”  Damn but that’s quite poetic!  I think you have missed your calling.

You are at a crossroads granddad, the time of reckoning has come. All I can say to you is step through.

Remember even the chicken that crossed the road probably had its doubts before it took its first steps.

Apparently I’m always at a crossroads.  As usual, I shall consult my Satnav, ignore its instructions and drive straight through.

And why did the chicken cross the road?

Yours,

Supershadow (Mickey Suttle) 

Is it all right if I call you Mickey from now on?  Supershadow plays havoc with my spell checker.

Your affectionately,

Grandad