We are all doomed
Doomed, I tell you.
Dooooomed.
Yes, it is a mere two and a half minutes to The End of Days, so I have to type quickly or I’ll never get this published.
Fuck me but they’re a cheery bunch, aren’t they? They sit around counting the ways we are about to annihilate ourselves and calculating just how near we are to extinction. Their Christmas office party must be a right fucking barrel of laughs? They would almost make the Health Fanatics look like a cheery bunch.
So they started this happy little exercise back in ’47 and reckoned we were all of seven minutes from the edge of the cliff? Why the fuck didn’t they start it at midday which would have given us a bit more leeway? They start off by telling us we have less that 0.5% chance of survival yet we are still here?
So what is the purpose of this little exercise, you ask? Search me. They claim it’s “a symbolic instrument informing the public when the earth is facing imminent disaster“. Symbolic? Simbollix! Why on earth would anyone want to be “informed” about a hypothetical and frankly dismal forecast of our imminent demise? Jayzus but I have far more important things to worry about, like whether I have enough baccy to last me until I go to the shops.
There really is enough doom and gloom around these days without this bunch adding to it. The news for the last while, post American elections and Brexit has been nothing but bad news. Everything is negative and I have heard nothing positive about either. No one has come forward and sad that maybe Yer Man in the White House just might [remotely] have an idea or two. Not one person has claimed that Brexit might be the right way to go. No – it’s all negative, with predictions of nuclear holocaust and financial meltdown.
The only person I know who is extremely optimistic about the future is our Dame Enda and he’s just a fucking idiot anyway and no one listens to a word he says.
Well, it’s over two and a half minutes since I started scribbling this and we are still here. Maybe they meant two and a half hours? Or days? Or millennia?
After all, it is only symbollix?
It’s a good thing it is bollix since I’ve just poured my coffee and I’d like to finish it and have another. Doom sayers wouldn’t want me all cranky
It must be a couple of hours since I scribbled this. I think they may have gotten it ever so slightly wrong? Again?
I really enjoyed that. You got a genuine LOL too.
That has something to do with cats? You see – I’m not so behind the times!
Maybe this will have a bearing on the urgency of our mortgage payments? Money won’t be much good where the bankers are going after ‘midnight’.
I have already stopped all my standing orders with the bank. No point in wasting good cash?
Damn! I haven’t got time to boil an egg for my tea! Is that what it means – we’re doomed to starve? Should I leave off painting the new shelf?
Which
numbnutscreative minds come up with this drivel? (I don’t mean you GD! 🙂 )Supposedly the brainchild of some of our finest minds. That is worrying. It’s akin to giving the nuclear button to Trump? Oh! Wait………
Trump has been on the phone to Putin, apparently it was a positive conversation. He sees the US and Russia as allies. He also soke of reducing the world’s nuclear arsenals but the anti Trump msm don’t carry that.
It’s all the product of a Think Tank or a Sink Tank. What do you sink?
Well, just so long as they delay it for a few more weeks – I’m off to Thailand for some much needed relief from this godawful winter in about three weeks, and I certainly don’t want Armageddon to interfere with that. I’d take it quite personally, and would be moved to write letters of complaint couched in the strongest possible terms.
I think I’ll make a sandwich. Might as well go on a full stomach.
Your taxpayer dollars (pounds, renminbi or otherwise, such that it may be) at work!
Thought you were referring to Jehovah’s Witnesses before I clicked the link. I remember a graphic of a runaway train rushing downhill to a broken bridge.
Wow! These people certainly have gone all modern, haven’t they? I can remember the days when their only method of communicating the imminent demise of the world was to send an old guy in a mac out on the streets wearing a sandwich-board with “THE END IS NIGH” written on it in big felt-tip penned letters. Now they’ve got computers, and display boards and everything! And they wear suits. And adopt suitably-solemn expressions for photographs. Crumbs! They’d almost be credible, if only all those previous warnings about Armageddon being “due tomorrow” hadn’t proved to be so terribly badly wrong every time in the past, because here we all still are ….
Oh well, at least now no-one has to bother with giving up smoking, or drinking, or using recreational drugs or eating pies or chocolate any more. Every cloud has a silver lining, as they say!
Utilised the time to make love to my mistress. Actually, only used 60 secs of the time. The rest was quite embarrassing as I didn’t think there would be time to explain my premature ‘failure’. She said it doesn’t matter. I wish I was dead.
Hey Grandpa, correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t this Doomsday clock invented to show how close the world was coming to a Nuclear War?? Now it seems to be taking into account everything but Nuclear war, you know climate change/ global warming/ global freezing, financial meltdown, Trump summoning Satan to rule the earth etc. etc. As the yanks would say, sounds like a lot of mission creep has occurred over the years.