The Slaughter of the Innocents
Yesterday, GeorgeD left a comment on this here site.
It’s always struck me as strange that when your average Joe Public makes the news.(Perhaps as the result of an accident or a run in with law enforcement).He is often described as an unemployed carpenter/mechanic/shopworker.
There does seem to be a strange need to embellish people in news items with the addition of all sorts of strange and irrelevant information –
A 46 year old father of three who was an unemployed coal miner and captain of his local football team was today … etc.
I suppose this information is relevant to his three kids and maybe even to his local football team but I cannot see the relevance for the rest of us? Is it supposed to drum up sympathy? [Ah God love the poor kids!] or is it supposed to provide some kind of empathetic link [I’m an unemployed coal miner so he was one of us]?
I have noticed here in Ireland there is a tendency to seek out a relationship with the local GAA club. Some unfortunate is involved in an accident and invariably he was a shining light in his local GAA team, or he was the son of someone who used to play for the county. This is nearly always mentioned well in advance, before we even get to hear how the unfortunate met his demise. Even if they can’t find a GAA connection, the person is invariably “an inspiration” and “loved by all”?
The one that gets me though is the number of “Innocents” walking our streets.
Whenever a car goes out of control or there is a shooting incident there nearly always seems to be an Innocent Victim. What I would like to know is how the reporters know the level of these people’s innocence? A bloke could be heading back to the pub after beating the shite out of his wife and kids, yet if he is knocked down he is still an innocent victim? For all we know that bystander could have been a right little cunt and being a victim might even be a blessing to society. Or is there some kind of religious thing that if you happen to get involved in someone else’s misdemeanours that you are somehow absolved of all sins?
It goes without saying that all children are innocent. Somehow the angelic little darlings cannot put a foot wrong until they are eighteen or so. This is of course why Public Health love them so much. I light my pipe and instantly endanger some “innocent” child half a mile away, conjuring up an image of an angelic little blonde with blue eyes who suddenly erupts into boils and drops dead. The truth is nearer to a wee five-year-old down the road who spends his time trying to pick fights with me. Whenever I hear of the cheeeldren, I always think of him. I’d smack him one, but knowing his family, his favourite toy is probably a Glock.
I can’t help but wonder how they would describe me.
Could I possibly be innocent too?
And when the person has died while committing a criminal act and he never achieved anything in his short life, he’s an aspiring rapper or footballer. He would never have made a career of rapping or kicking a ball, but there’s nothing else to say about him because he was a scrote. Can’t say that though
“Deeply despised amongst his neighbours” It would be interesting if they wrote the bland truth?
What always annoys me in the UK is that the value of someone’s house is always mentioned! Can’t imagine why it is relevant at all.
Of course it’s relevant. If their house is much more expensive than yours then they are obviously upper class twits and the world is better of. If it’s cheaper they are then working class layabouts and the world is better off. It also advertises a potential house for sale?
like
I can only comment with a journalism question:-
How would the cliche-ridden journos report a snatch-and-run robbery of a cantankerous, pipe-smoking, Grandad and he out walking a pet dog called Penny on the outskirts of a Wicklow village following the New Year festivities in the Year of Our Lord 2027?
“Local animal loving hero snatched in his prime ten years in the future” ??
But what exactly will have been snatched? (future pluperfect tense)
The pipe, the Zippo, the dog, the walking stick, Herself? Not surely Himself!
The whiskey bottle [which in fact is used as a pee-bottle]. Good luck to ’em!
The opposite of “innocent” is that “he was known to Gardai”- which would apply to me if I was shot
I’m well known to several gardai, some of whom I would almost class as friends. Does that count?
And the poor innocent yoofs in the USA whose relatives always lament that they “didn’t deserve to be shot” and that they were “turning their lives around” accompanied by a photo of the perp at the age of five, dressed for Sunday School.
“Came from a poor background and was addicted to drugs” Poor lamb! No wonder he felt obliged to enter a life of crime?
Being a bit pedantic here, but notwithstanding a mechanical defect cars themselves do not go out of control. Why newspapers can’t just say ‘the stupid fucking driver approached the bend too fast and as a result smashed up a nice bit of machinery whilst decapitating himself’ is beyond me! 🙂
Or speed? They say that speed kills, but fail to mention that it’s a crap driver exceeding his [or her] capabilities?
grandad please excuse change of subject,is it ethical to accidently empty cup of hot coffee over laptop then inform my first wife it cannot be repaired and i must buy a new one to read grandads daily musings .PS it worked the lie that is
Welcome Eamonn! Of course it is ethical and is a technique I have successfully used myself on a couple of occasions. In fact there is a distinct possibility that I may accidentally spill a can of Coke over my keyboard in the near future. I don’t drink the stuff and will have to buy a can for the purpose, but it makes a vary convincing sticky mess of the keys. But accidents do happen…….