Five months of insanity

You have to be kidding me, right?

Just joking?

Having a bit of a laugh?

You're NOT?

This is fucking SUMMER for fuck's sake!

Not so long ago the Great Unwashed would be at the seaside for the first two weeks of August on their SUMMER holidays.  As it stands, all the schools are still closed for SUMMER.

If I were going to France for my SUMMER holiday, I wouldn't be traveling for another month yet and it would still be SUMMER.

In case you didn't realise it yet, this is SUMMER!  Got that?  August?  Near enough the middle of the year?  The Swallows are still flying around, the flowers are still flowering and my grass still needs cutting?  Yes – SUMMER.

So you can go a stuff your greedy, money-obsessed commercialisation up your fucking arses.

I will never darken the doors of Selfridge's again. I never did in the past, but I can promise you you have lost any potential future custom from me, you sniveling little money grubbers.

I can even go so far as to leave the room if that damned "Mr Selfridge" comes back on television.  Herself likes it but personally I would rather stand out in the rain and freeze while it's on.

The link is coming up but this is really not safe for anyone with a nervous disposition, or even, for that matter of a normal disposition.  I would go so far as to suggest you don't click it unless you are terminally brain-dead.

You have been warned.

CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK

 

It's only fair to share...Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInPin on PinterestShare on RedditShare on StumbleUponShare on Tumblr

Comments

Five months of insanity — 21 Comments

  1. They waited this long to start the Christmases season. I figured by now store would have signs up on 26 December, "
    only 364 days to Christmas" or maybe this is the case and they are starting with "only 18 months to Christmas 2017"?

    Of course they are doing incorrectly. You can no longer mention Christmas, its the "Holiday Season".

     

    • I presume that as they make most of their sales during the month of December they're hoping to increase profits five-fold?  They can fuck off.  I start my "festive season" on or around the 24th December, or maybe later.  It ends when I have finished my last bottle of whiskey.

      As for Holiday instead of the other [I refuse to mention its name this early] they can fuck off with their oh-so-sensitive-to-other-religions crap.

  2. QVC had their Xmas in July – I kid you not,  and they'll be having one on the 25th of every month from now until the "Season" is over.  I haven't had my summer holidays yet so they can go stuff themselves and their stockings!  I say "Bah! Humbug"!   Not sure it would still be summer in France in another month Grandad – it might be but summer only arrived about two weeks ago. The weather up until then has been absolute crap! We still had the heating on at the beginning of July – unheard of in previous years!

    • I wonder if there is a reason I never watch QVC?  Actually, I have been know to tune in for five minutes just to laugh at the crap they sell.  I'm usually after a few pints at the time…….

      I always time my holidays to coincide with good weather.  The last few years it has been great in Cork [but it pissed down this year because I didn't go there].  Any time we have gone to France [first three weeks or so in September] it has always been brilliant, almost too hot.  Not going this year so expect a deluge around then.  Unless someone wants to sponsor me [+ great weather] for September?

    • We still had the heating on at the beginning of July – unheard of in previous years!

      Warble Gloaming, innit? That's why you should stop driving your car, stop using electricity and eschew any air travel. It'll be great fun. We can all huddle together in our yurts, happy in the knowledge that we've averted Armageddon.

      • Of course! Global moaning's the reason its been so COLD!  I eschew air travel because I hate being treated like a sardine by corporate fascists and the lecky is self-regulating as it has the tendency to cut out whenever a bee farts!  Its a load of old bollox!  

        Whenever there are strange happenings weather-wise I can't help bringing this to mind.  The Lynton & Lynmouth disaster of August 1952 where over 30 people died due to mega rainfall in one night. I've been there and seen the size of the boulders washed down to the sea. God help anything that got in their way!  Absolutely appalling!  A freak of nature or "Hand of God"?  No!  Then it was admitted a few decades later through declassified documents that it was the RAF who where experimenting with rain-making and overdid it, and it would seem laughed at the operation.  Operation Cumulus was its name.  Ooopsie!  Go tell that to the folks who died – oh but they can't!   So, the questions for me is if they can do this over 60 years ago, WTF can they do now/have been doing and are continuing to do?

         

        • Just to add that the United Nations General Assembly have allegedly drawn up a "Weather Weapons" treaty.  Now why would they do that? And where would they be testing these “weather weapons”? And on whom?

    • You should have left it behind the paywall!  I thought your gubmint had banned anything to do with happiness and jollity?

    • When I lived in Melbourne, since my birthday fell on the 20th June, I'd do the full Xmas roast jobby then, and come 25th December it would be down to the beach for a barbie. It worked out quite well.

      That was in the 70s, when we were allowed to enjoy ourselves. As GD says, it rather looks like fun is off the agenda in Aus these days. Unless you consider living the life of an ascetic with the aim of living forever as fun.

    • Oh sweet fuck!  Sorry, but I'm going to have to cancel that surprise visit I was going to make in a couple of weeks.  Let me know when she goes bankrupt and I might call then.

  3. Oh dear, and I knew what you were talking about within the first sentence and I know exactly how you feel. Thankfully, (and so far, you never know) they stores around these parts don’t usually put out their [insert unspeakable word at this time of year] paraphernalia until immediately after Halloween although you might see them starting to set things up a week or so before.

    Even now, when I start to get pissed off at the early commercialism of [insert unspeakable word at this time of year] I just remember that even “Charlie Brown” complained about this very same thing in 1965.

    • Good old Charlie Brown.  It's bad enough with the evenings starting to draw in without being reminded of the horrors of Winter ahead.

  4. Grandad,
    Come on; lighten up old boy. Christmas is a magical half of the year. I’m planning on decorating our tree and putting the twinkly lights up this weekend.
    Oh, while I’m here, may I wish you and your readers all the best for the new year and hope you all have a happy Easter.

  5. Grandad,

    Almost forgot! We posted the Christmas cards last week to avoid the mail rush; but that's only common sense, right?

  6. Good grief, this is as nothing, nothing.

    In the days when I had a proper job (if advertising and marketing is such a thing) we had clients – Christmas hampers for working folk –  for whom the work towards Christmas began in January. And others – corporate Christmas cards bought by the working folks' bosses – for who Christmas began at Easter. For us every day was Christmas – and not in a good way.

    • Welcome Simon!  I don't mind things going on behind the scenes.  Factories have to tool up, warehouses have to be stocked, shit has to be designed, but when they start pushing in our faces then they cross the line.  Wandering into a shop wearing sunglasses, a flowery shirt, shorts and sandals only to be plunged into a world of snow and Santa is just not on.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *