Go take a hike
Sedentary lifestyles posing as great a threat to public health as smoking.
Oh do go and fuck off.
Seeing as nearly everything these days is as great a threat as smoking, then we might as well just stick with the smoking and leave it at that?
Now research on over one million people has found that sitting for at least eight hours a day could increase the risk of premature death by up to 60 per cent.
And what precisely is "premature death" anyway? When the Grim Reaper decides to knock on the door then that's it, premature or otherwise. Or does "premature death" mean that you will have just died before the Grim Reaper gets there? It is a term that means fuck all. It can only have meaning if somehow the normal date of your death is known in advance, which it isn't, so no one can say whether your death is premature or not.
The authors urged anyone spending hours at their desk to take a five-minute break every hour, as well as exercise at lunchtimes and evenings. They said sedentary lifestyles were now posing as great a threat to public health as smoking, and were causing more deaths than obesity.
They can "urge" until they are blue in the face but they can still fuck off. So now sitting at a desk is worse than obesity? Has it occurred to them that sitting at a desk could be a factor in the cause of obesity? Well, no because there are the "Sedentary Nannies" and they don't want to tread on the toes of the "Obesity Nannies". Each to his own little pot of research gold?
The authors warn there has been too little progress in tackling the global pandemic of physical inactivity since the 2012 Olympics.
What. The. Fuck?
What in the name of Jayzus has the 2012 Olympics got to do with it? Are they claiming that the Olympics caused a global pandemic, whereby "Infectious Physical Inactivity" spread like a plague across the planet? Is physical inactivity even infectious? That's a new one on me. They had better ban the Olympics so?
Cancer and heart disease were the two most likely causes of death linked to inactivity.
As yes, they would be. There is no point in doing any research if it doesn't prove something causes cancer and heart disease. Seeing as everything causes cancer and heart disease except old age [the primary cause of cancer and heart disease] then we might as well all give up.
The researchers also called for radical changes in government policies to encourage healthier habits.
Just go and FUCK OFF.
Now they are really boiling my piss.
It is not the business of "government policies" to encourage anything, least of all how I live my life. It is none of the governments business what I do, what I don't do and how I do or don't do it. If I want to live a so called unhealthy lifestyle then that is entirely my own business and no one else's, least of all the government's. I am an adult so stop treating me like some infant who needs guidance at every step.
After reading that little piece of liquid diarrhea, I think I need to lie down.
It's tantamount to saying that life leads inevitably to death.
I think the Daily Mash could do something with this…
It has gone way beyond farce or ridicule.
Good heavenly days!
You have to wonder where this peanuts ever got their education.
What has been said above is equivalent to saying that “More humans are dying from alcholhism than they were during the 2010 Swine Flu Outbreak*”
So a sedentary lifestyle is “as bad as smoking.” So what about second-hand sedentary lifestyles? Surely using the chair a lazy-butt sat on is ten times riskier than being sedentary yourself?
Perhaps sedentary lifestyles at parks and sportsgrounds will be banned because of the cheeeeeldren, as you say.
This “jumping on the smoking bandwagon” mentality has to stop. It should be outlawed; clearly it is causing degeneration of our society. Perhaps these “smarty pants” need nicotine to get their brains of their caffeine-highs and look at things rationally?
*Made up somewhat for comedic value
I just get the impression that these "researchers" are doing anything to get their names in the newspapers. When I look at the daily outpourings of pure garbage I get really pissed off at what they have done to real science. We have long passed the day when I lost all respect for "researchers", "scientists" and the worst bottom feeders of the lot – "experts".
My mother smoked until the day she died – she was 89. Was it a premature death? We’ll never know, will we.
I had a sedentary job for 40 years where I sat at a desk for almost 8 hours a day and at 72 I’m hoping to avoid a premature death myself.
I really enjoy your humorous take on these phony research results. What a bunch of numnuts.
My Gran-in-law died of lung cancer when she was 89 and never smoked in her life nor did she live in a "smoking environment"!
Heh! Thanks. It really isn't hard to rip the piss out of these reports, simply because they are begging for it.
What I'd like to know is who the fuck pays for all these useless surveys? I feel sorry for the poor sods who actually take notice of them because their research is based on faulty reasoning to say the least. These gooberment departments would be more use if they actually did ban the stuff that has been proved to harm us. Why for example has the UK not banned mercury amalgam fillings which are actually dangerous to our health? Putting heavy metals in kids mouths is OK but a whiff of Grandad's pipe smoke every once in a while is not? These goobermint hypocrites make me sick!
So if we move around quick enough the cancer can't keep up with us so won't catch us? Is that how it works?
We pay for it, of course. Either we pay taxes that fund universities who fund these wankers or else we pay higher profits to Big Pharma.
A daily whiff of Grandad's pipe smoke is great for the kids. It builds their immune system, acts as an anti-bacterial agent and gives them loving memories to cherish through their future lives.
You know, I started smoking at the tender age of eight. Not seriously, of course. I didn't really start properly until I was twelve.
And the reason I was so attracted to smoking? Peer pressure? Nope, I started long before my peers.
'Glitzy' packaging? Nope. I was blissfully unaware of the packaging – I started by nicking fags out of the carved wooden cigarette box that my parents kept for guests (they were both non-smokers).
Advertising? Ha! I'm pretty sure that when I started, we didn't have the right TV aerial to get ITV – it was only BBC. And anyway, what eight year old ever looks at adverts?
No, the reason that I was so attracted to smoking was because I absolutely loved the smell of tobacco smoke. I would always position myself downwind of any smoker that was in my vicinity so I could savour that sweet aroma.
And I still, at the age of 67, love the smell of tobacco and tobacco smoke.
So sitting in an office is as 'bad' as smoking is it? A bit of a non-story, then, given that smoking isn't that bad for you anyway. It may not suit some people who have respiratory weaknesses, but for most of us it doesn't impact on our health, contrary to what the health Nazis would have us believe.
And they want to 'urge' people to exercise for five minutes every hour? What, like walking outside the building to have a fag? Sounds good to me – kill two birds with one stone. 🙂
That is an excellent point. Cigarette breaks should be made compulsory by law whether you smoke or not. Everyone would be obliges to step out of the building and stand in the rain for five minutes every hour. It would all be for the sake of their health, of course.
You don't think that Pokemon Go is behind this? 🙂
I don’t know how you do it, Gramps, but you always manage to take a subject which should – to steal your own highly-apt phrase "boil my piss" too – and make me laugh about it. This post has just made me chuckle out loud despite being all alone at home at the moment, which might make anyone passing my window believe me to be somewhat crazed. So, thank you for that – I’m always keen to keep the neighbours at arm’s length.
But seriously, what are these people actually saying? “Sitting for at least eight hours a day?” Is that a cumulative total, or does it have to be eight hours at a stretch? If it’s the former, then presumably their suggested “five minute break every hour” will make little or no difference; if the latter, then I don’t know where they got their subjects from – there simply can’t be that many people who sit, constantly, for eight hours solid, without ever even getting up for a pee or to get a cup of coffee. I work in what these people would probably call a “sedentary” job (in an office), but I’m up and down like a bloody yo-yo all day – trips to the filing cabinets, the photocopier, the coffee machine, to meet visitors, to ask colleagues questions, to go to the loo (oh, dear, perhaps as a girlie that doesn’t count!), to get paper for the printer, to go for lunch – I’m lucky if I get to sit down for ten minutes at a stretch! Who are all these people who come in to work in the morning, plonk themselves down in front of their computers and never move off their fat backsides? Oh yes, of course – they're the people doing all these sodding "studies!"
I lead what they would probably call a sedentary lifestyle. I am retired so I have no need to go anywhere or do anything other than sit in a comfy chair all day. In practice, I probably do more exercise that your average office worker. I am constantly up and down making tea, tending to the dog's whims [I sometimes wish she would learn to open the damned door for herself!], tending to Herself, doing bits of cleaning and of course the odd piss. And that doesn't count the [majority] days where I have to go to the village, bring the dog for a walk, do gardening and all the other things that need doing to the house. Sedentary lifestyle my bollix!
We in the UK stuck two fingers up to the Elites by voting Brexit – time to start disobeying the laws/policies emanating from these twats – I already have. No smoking in an enclosed car park? FO. No smoking in a hospital car park? FO. |f smokers got themselves organised enough to 'flash-smoke' in pubs there's damn all the authorities could do.
The way the Puritans are going with their anti-vaping, anti-sugar, anti-alcohol and anti-everything else that might in some way cause pleasure, they may well be heading for a showdown. There are very few now who aren't affected by their nonsense and people [I hope] are beginning to wake up.
What is “risk”? Is it a scientific word, with a standard unit, in a glass case in Paris perhaps? Or is it a word like “danger”, that our mothers taught us, when we tried to do back-flips of the edge of the bath, or maybe swim in a pond? What, precisely, is supposed to be “at risk”?
I’m ready for my euthanasia now. I understand now, I think, what my grandfather was thinking, staring at the fire, with his blood-curdling sighs.
Risk is a word designed to strike fear into the hearts of the bovine masses and the snowflakes. It is a convenient word because you can apply it to absolutely everything, whether it's smoking, driving, walking, eating or even siting in a chair.