I wasn't going to write about e-cigarettes again today.  Repetition can be tedious.

However, Herself had been listening to the radio yesterday and informed me that I had missed my dear friend Luke Clancy in a programme about the Horizon thingy.  I had to listen for myself and managed to find an archive.  So if you are tired of the subject, blame her.

For those of you who don't know my bosom pal Luke, he's a dried up arsehole of the Irish Tobacco Control scene.  He runs his own little empire grandly called the "Tobacco Free Research Institute Ireland" which essentially is the Provisional Wing of the Anti Smoker movement here.

The interview is a classic example of the rarified atmosphere in which Tobacco Control lives.  Research is dubious if it gives the wrong results.  One month trials aren't long enough, despite being the period used in TC trials.  Logic is a sort of Alice in Wonderland phenomenon where nothing is quite what it seems.  They live by their own logic where up is down and black is the same as white.

There is the impeccable logic that the tobacco companies didn't invest in NRT patches because that might have stopped people from smoking, but they are investing in e-cigarettes, which proves conclusively that e-cigarettes don't stop people from smoking.  Blindingly obvious logic?

There is the obvious fact that anything the tobacco industry is involved in ends in disaster, ergo e-cigarettes are a disaster.  How did we miss this fact?

He mentions the survey that reported that 0.02% of vapers were never-smokers, but that is all wrong because our Luke's survey showed something different.  Everyone is marching out of step except our Luke?

We learn that Nicotine is highly addictive yet it isn't if you don't like cigarettes.  Conditional addiction?  How come no one ever discovered this before?

Then there is the great Laugh Out Loud [and Roll on the floor laughing] moment – "It doesn't matter that it's not smoke.  You see this vapour in the distance – plumes of it – in places where we have forbidden smoking and the children will see it".  So you see – all that denormalisation is for nothing!

The crack up moment for me though was the logic – "most people who use e-cigarettes use cigarettes as well. Now how many of those would have stopped smoking altogether if they didn't have this device as well?"  [Aaaargh!! The little shits are cutting down on cigarettes but they're not doing it our way?]

There is the glorious moment where he discounts an expert's opinion because that expert is engaged only in smoking cessation.  [*steps back through Alice’s mirror a few times…. did he really say that?  Yes he did!  Scratches head.*]

The bottom line though seems to be that e-cigarettes may well be harmless but the Americans are against them and the Australians won't even let them in, therefore they must be bad.

I urge you have a listen.  It's only ten minutes but I guarantee you'll have a laugh. 

I also guarantee a few what-the-fuck moments.