I happened to be in town yesterday.

It's not a place I visit regularly as it's a long journey and the parking is crap when I get there.

I was strolling along, minding my own business having completed other people's business which had been the purpose of my visit, when I noticed a vape shop.  I had seen these places before but I had always been in a hurry, but this time curiosity got the better of me.

I wandered in.

The first impression was that I was in a jewelers' shop as the walls were lined with glass cases all containing shiny things made of glass or metal, and in some cases, both.  I was beginning to think I should have stayed outside.

But a chap who had been sitting behind the counter suddenly stood up, scaring the shite out of me.  He asked if he could help. I told him I was browsing.  He asked if I was looking for anything in particular.  I told him that Herself had an electrofag and that she was always dropping the fucking thing and breaking off the mouthpiece.  I told him I spent more on superglue than I did on e-liquid.

I usually carry my yoke around in one of my pockets in case I get arrested and have to spend a long while in a no-smoker area so I produced my device which is the same as Herself's.  No, he didn't sell mouthpieces for those as they are virtually extinct these days.  Anyway he said the yoke I had was semi disposable and would only work for a couple of weeks.  I told him I had it for years.  He looked surprised.

So I decided to buy her a new one, and gritting my teeth, I told Yer Man of my decision.

He instantly started speaking a language of which I have little knowledge.  He talked of tanks and atomisers.  He talked of variable voltages and coils.  I interrupted his flow and mentioned I knew fuck all about e-cigarettes.  Whenever I am in a technical establishment I always feign complete ignorance.  In the past, I have completely demolished computer sales people when they start bullshitting me.  But in fairness, Yer Man talked plain English and explained without the slightest hint of impatience what each yoke did what.

Next he dumped a load of different gizmos all over the counter.  Before I could get at them he started removing them again one by one – too expensive, too complicated, too advanced.  It is rare to get someone who doesn't try to sell the most expensive?  We were left with three and I chose one.  I asked him what would happen if I flung it at the wall.  He said it would smash, which was honest?  When I discovered the price, I bought two.  Spares are always handy.  He refused to sell me batteries because he said the ones I had were fine.

So for sheer honesty and decent service I'd go there again. 

I didn't tell him who I was.

To be honest, I find that look of disbelief, followed by awe advancing to absolute reverence a little bit embarrassing.