A capital problem
I scribbled up my little piece yesterday, and as usual assumed people would ignore it.
I received a couple of comments which was very nice but then I had other things to do, so I left my laptop to have a well earned doze.
In the course of doing my other things I realised we were running low on some household essentials like tea, milk and bread. No problem – time to order some groceries. Oh the joy of shopping on-line!
Except that I couldn't.
I tried to hook into the shop on the Interweb but something was drastically wrong. That little circley thing kept circling and there was no sign of the shop. Fuck! I tried a couple of other sites. Nothing. Fuck! No Interweb. Fuck fuck!
I left it. There was no point in sitting looking at a blank screen and anyway I was tired so I did other things unti late evening when I checked again. Still no Interweb.
It was back this morning. I see I managed to unintentionally ruffle a few feathers too with yesterday's scribble so I had a lot of reading to do. Everything is fine, but I still pondered as to why it had shut down last night.
Then I remembered.
Apparently the Associated Press have decided in their infinite wisdom that the Interweb should not have a capital I. It shall henceforth be known as interweb, according to them. They can fuck off. In my book the Interweb deserves a capital I simply because there is only one of it, and anyway my spell checker has just complained that I spelled Interweb with an i. So this explains the mystery of the vanished connection – obviously the Interweb had had a little token strike. Well I [and my spell checker] fully support it in its industrial action. Solidarity Brothers!
The AP have also decided to give me a little lecture on the structure of the Interweb. They are telling me that there is a difference between the Internet, the World Wide Web, email and all the other shit that goes on out there. I know all that, but if they think I'm going to strain my fingers by typing World Wide Web all the time, they have another think coming. That's why I call it the Interweb – Web sitting inside the Internet – simple.
So the associated press [let’s see how they feel being lower-cased] can politely rev up and fuck off with their little dictat. I ain't playing ball.
And I just hope the Interweb appreciates this little message of solidarity, and will see me as a friend and not cut me off again.
Not until I have done the shopping anyway.
So, has Grandad still got a capital "T" or what?
Lyons, actually. And I'll always have a capital G and only two ds. Granddad looks messy.
Or a capital "G" even?
Are you saying you have actually found the G-spot? Do tell. Where?
Is this "G" spot the place that first beer hits on a Friday, by any chance?
Ah! The Gut?
Does this mean that "Earth" will become "earth" and the "Moon" will become the "moon"?
of course it does ian all capitals are eventually to be banned in order to eliminate the need for a shift key
they are also going to do away with all punctuation
I'm in favour of the last bit – no more aberrant apostrophe's
What, not even the greengrocer's apostrophe? Apple's, banana's, potato's and cabbage's, all to be swept away on a tide of modernity?
It is the kind of Englisch up mit vhich I vill not putt.
Well, while there making up they're minds, I'm going to carry on as usual.