The Daughter and Grandkids were up here a week or so ago.
Everything was grand – we were chatting away, Sir Fartzalot was out in the garden freezing his arse off and Puppychild was mooching around as eleven year olds tend to do.
Herself took a cigarette out.
"You're not going to light that Granny?" says Puppychild with a face on her like an old judge. Herself sighed and put the cigarette away [temporarily as eleven year olds rarely hang around]. She then received a stern lecture on the terrible hazards of smoking and how she would drop dead on the spot if she looked at another fag. I listened in amusement as I puffed away on my pipe.
After Puppychild had mooched off I raised an eyebrow to the daughter. She sighed and said that apparently they had started brainwashing the kids up at the school. She admitted that she was now terrified in her own home and had to sneak out the back for a surreptitious puff before her own daughter caught her. Puppychild has been indoctrinated into the Anti Youth movement and has eyes like a hawk and a nose like a bloodhound.
This leaves me with a problem.
I have no qualms whatsoever in taking Puppychild to one side and demolishing every argument that has been pumped into her little brain. I have no problem whatsoever in telling her that second hand smoking is a load of bollox and that cigarettes aren't half as bad as the Nazis claim.
But I can't.
You see, I don't particularly want her to start as she's a tad young. When she reaches eighteen or so then it will be up to her and I have no problem with that.
And if I demolish all the Nazis' arguments could I be seen as encouraging her? And even worse, would she start contradicting her teachers [or whoever is brainwashing them in school] and get herself expelled?
It's tough being a Grandad.
I really don't care if she nags the hell out of her parents and anyone else she meets [that’s their problem] but I can't have her bossing Herself around.
That's my job.