Our gubmint has been fierce busy over the last couple of days, despite being on their long well earned holidays.
For those of you living in foreign climes, we have been having a little rain over here.
Things work reasonably well over here provided it is calm and reasonably warm, but if we have any kind of weather things tend to grind to a standstill. An inch or two of snow is more than sufficient to grind the entire country to a standstill; wind is great for knocking or electricity grid into the middle of next week, and rain? A couple of inches of rain and we are totally fucked. Great swathes of the country now lie submerged as the entire island tried to emulate Atlantis. Towns across the land are competing to become the Irish version of Venice. All in all, Ireland could reasonably be classified as wet.
So what is our gubmint doing?
Well, first up was our deputy leader, The Screecher Burton. She attempted to prove that she could walk on water but sadly ended up getting her Gucci boots all wet when she fell into a road that had become a river. She is now suing Irish Water, The Inland Waterways Association and Paul Murphy for attempting to drown her.
Then our Glorious Leader appeared from the sky [in a helicopter] and announced that he had the ultimate solution for all those unfortunate enough to find their homes, farms and businesses submerged. Take note of this, all you people in the UK who are having similar problems. We are prepared [being good neighbours] to share this brilliant solution with you lot too.
All the people have to do is move their homes, farms and businesses to higher ground!
Is that so elegant in its simplicity? Why did no one think of this before? No wonder Dame Enda is our Glorious Leader!
In the meantime, Fatso Reilly is staying at home as his is one of the few houses to remain dry. In fact I doubt any river would dare invade his property as he is well known for his temper and bully boy tactics, and most rivers would be too scared.
Fatso has much more important things on his mind that mere flooding. He is busily trying to find ways to ban e-cigarettes here and is trying frantically to ignore the UK study that electrofags are essentially harmless. He has hitched his wagon to the idea that if Americans think they're dangerous then the Brits must be wrong. He is following the logical path of finding research that fits with his preconceived notions and ignoring everything else, which is after all the true way of Tobacco Control.
So you have to hand it to them.
They may be on their holliers but they're still working hard.