I am getting really sick of hearing about "gender issues".

Hardly a day goes past without someone whinging on about some aspect of gender and I wish they would all just fuck off.

It seems to have started with that referendum for gay marriage thing which apparently opened the floodgates.  We became a "gender friendly" country or some such crap and now everyone is on the bandwagon.  The referendum got everyone talking about "alternative sexual preferences" and then the feminists decided to join in the fun and grab some limelight while the going was good.

We have had people whining about "gender quotas" for the upcoming elections with candidates being deselected so some token woman can be put on the ticket which I honestly think is insulting to the women – "you ain't good enough but we'll stick you up as a candidate to fill the quota".  God knows the women we have seen in politics in recent years have in the main been total disasters [I give you Mary Mad Cow Harney, Mary Hannafin and the Bimbo Creighton as a shuddering sample] so if we elect women on gender rather than eligibility then the country is even more fucked than I though possible.

Seeing as they have gender quotas in politics, the feminists have turned their guns elsewhere and now we have "not enough women on radio" and "not enough women in the theatre".  Where the fuck is this going to end?  Hardly a day goes past without someone screaming that women aren't being treated fairly.  I can tell you I have had a couple of female bosses it the past and they were a fucking nightmare.  They either spent their time being domineering or else bawling their eyes out in some office corridor because someone hadn't been nice to them at a board meeting,

Then to add a whole load of confusion we are given a list of "genders".  Now I always thought that biologically two – male and female.  Apparently Nature and I are both wrong.

We have men preferring men and women preferring women.  Fair enough.  Whatever rocks your boat.  I have no problems with that.

But now we have men who prefer to dress up as women while still preferring women and women dressing as men while still preferring men, and we have men who dress up as women but occasionally prefer to dress as men.  Then we get into some real surreal territory with people deciding in the morning what gender they are going to be for the day and naming themselves and dressing themselves accordingly so you never ever know whether you are going to see Patrick or Patricia.

There is a whole list of them crawling out of the woodwork –

• Agender: lacking an affiliation with any gender.
• Cisgender: people who are not trans. The majority of the population who are comfortable with the sex assigned to them at birth.
• Genderfluid: alternating between a feeling of being male on some days, and female on others
• Genderqueer and nonbinary: Genderqueer refers to gender that is nonnormative; these are people who relate to neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders. The distinction is subtle, but nonbinary refers simply to gender that is not binary (not exclusively man or woman)
• Trans/ transgender: a broad umbrella term that includes anyone whose gender identity and/or gender expression differ from the sex assigned to them at birth
• Transvestite/ crossdresser: transvestites and cross-dressers are typically (but not always) heterosexual males who wear traditionally feminine clothing; like Eddie Izzard, they still identify as male.

What is this "gender assigned to them at birth"?  In my complete innocence I always assumed that the midwife took a quick peek at the tackle Down Below and made the simple pronouncement of a boy or girl.  I didn't realise they were actually "assigned" a gender on the whim of the midwife?

And what about these Genderqueers?  What the fuck is going on in their heads?  Are they going to refuse to enter the ladies or gents toilets because they are neither?  Or do they choose toilets on a rota basis?  I see they want to introduce a new pronoun – v – to be used in place of he or she.  They want to introduce Mx in place of Mr, Mrs, Ms, or Miss.  They can really go fuck themselves on that little scheme [and on that subject why wasn’t “hermaphrodite” included on the list above?].

I suppose there are those who would call me homophobe [And surely homophobe translates as a fear of men?] but I'm not.  I know some people of "alternative preferences" and I get on very well with them.  I treat them like I treat all my friends and I couldn't give a flying shite what they get up to when I'm not around.  The ones I object to are the screaming queens who shove their sexuality in my face and who clutter up the newspapers with their demands for sympathy and equality.  That lot can fuck right off, and then go fuck off a good distance further.

On the other hand, I am now waiting for all these gender classifications to demand equal rights and equal quotas in future elections.  We must have at least one of each along with males and females in each constituency. 

Now that really would be fun!