I'm a bit late coming onto the Interwebs today.
It all really started yesterday morning when I was woken by the dog very gently and politely tapping on the bedroom door. Now she normally just barges right in [without even knocking] and settles down to sleep on my legs so I can't turn over in the bed any more. Yesterday was different though so I had to heave myself out of bed at the ungodly hour of six, to see what the fuck was up with the dog. She very plainly told me she wanted to go out outside and underlined the urgency of the situation by making some rather revolting puking noises.
I let her out.
She vanished down the estate somewhere.
I couldn't go back to bed while she was out so I hung around and waited.
Eventually, I realised I was wide awake so I got dressed. No sooner was I dressed than Penny arrived back at the door to be let in. As a result I was knackered all day yesterday, while the dog spent the day happily sleeping off her one-off vomit session.
Now some people would go to bed early the following evening but sadly that doesn't work for me. If I go to bed early, I just toss and turn. The only way I can catch up on sleep is to have a lie-in the following day.
Except that today I had to get up early for a hospital appointment.
So there I was, at the crack of dawn belting up the motorway while still half asleep.
Now the appointment was in the Beacon Clinic which is a nightmare of a building as I have discovered in the past, so I had to leave plenty of time to get lost. And get lost I did. I spent a happy half hour wandering around the great cavernous building which is like a cross between a shopping centre and an airport, until I eventually found the right door amongst a thousand other identical doors.
So I am home now, nearly six yoyos lighter for the privilege of parking in their car park [and there is no parking anywhere else for miles], and to put it mildly, I am bollixed.
How come if I visit Doc I always feel cheerful coming out but if I visit a hospital or clinic I come out feeling a thousand times worse than I did entering? And it wasn't even my appointment – I was merely driving.
If anyone wakes me early tomorrow I'll have their guts for garters.
And that goes for you too, Penny.