Flights of fancy — 16 Comments

  1. Remember an old bloke telling me how to cook a seagull, boil a pan of water add the bird and a stone when boiling, when the stone is soft enough to eat, throw away the gull ! 🙂

    • There was a rumour back in the 70s that my favourite Chinese restaurant was serving chicken curry that wasn't exactly chicken [if you get my drift?].  Personally I never noticed any change in flavour, but then I confess to being pissed most times I visited.


      A Norwegian of my acquaintance offered the same advice a few years after we moved here. Common gulls are bloody maniacs. They hurl their young out of the nest and then spend about four weeks following them around attacking anything that comes within about twenty meters. This would not be a problem if the nasty fuckers would stay on beaches and cliffs where they belong. Food is much easier to find in the town centre though. So while they are smart enough to scrounge off of human beings they are too stupid to work out that dive bombing and shitting on them is a bad idea. Herring gulls and blackbacks have different parenting strategies, they wait until the young can fly before throwing them off the cliff.



  2. Four permanent types of seagulls in these parts. Black headed usually seen on the numerous beaches, Herring, Black Backed and Great Black Backed usually seen just about anywhere where the lazy bastards buy food and then chuck it in the bin. Why they don't cut out the waste and just throw their cash and cards in the bin instead is beyond me but the seagulls would go back to being sea gulls not the unpaid cleaning crew they are at present.

    And yes the great black backed are really big buggers even so unless you are about to stand on one of their eggs or chicks they fly off as soon as 'the human' gets 'too close'. I imagine there is a need for a seagull control officer as seagulls are at least as dangerous to human beings as secondhand smoke.

    • Personally I would think it a good thing if they started robbing chips and ice-cream?  All that salt, fat and sugar is bound to make them obese overnight so they all drop dead?

        • I dunno….  Have you never seen a seagull pissed out of its head?  Quite funny actually.

      • Chips and ice cream? According to the daughter they have already perfected that art in St Ives, that and the pasties. 

    • You have rats that big?  Wow!  I'm impressed.  And you don't even live in Texas.

      Hang on…..  You don't live anywhere near the coast………….

      • I'm not that close to the coast but I've been,"Down the Shore" many times in my life.  Seagulls also fly up the Susquehanna river from the Chesapeake Bay

  3. I hope they are'nt going to start shooting the sea eagles down in kerry by mistake for giant gulls.

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