Early morning erection
I have been getting up rather early for the last few days.
An old pal of mine has been doing a little bit of a job in the garden. The fucker insisted on starting at eight in the morning which to put it very mildly is an ungodly hour. To make matters worse, not only did he arrive and start unloading tools and stuff but he then started cutting stones.
Is there anything worse than a power saw cutting stone at eight in the morning?
I don't think so.
To add to the noise there were clouds of dust which meant visibility in the garden for the last couple of days has been zilch.
Anyhows, he's gone now.
I have just discovered he did a little bit of extra work. Now I swear on a crate of baccy I didn't ask him to do it. He never asked me, nor did he tell me after. It was just a nice little surprise that he left for me to discover.
He resurfaced a bit of the lane outside my gate.
It's only a small piece of resurfacing but it is very effective.
You can't see it in the picture because you can't see it in actuality. Yes, he has surfaced over my water meter, which I think is incredibly kind and thoughtful? It was fucking ugly anyway.
As for the work he did – it was a brilliant job.
There is Penny enjoying the sunshine on the new terrace, between the new steps and the new stone.
What's the stone pillar for, you ask?
Well, it does have a function but I'll leave that to your imagination. Is it for tethering the dog? Is it for tethering Herself? It's not a sundial [I have one of those]. It's not part of anything that is yet to be built.
Naturally it has to have a name. I suggested the Ogham Stone, or the Long Steyne. Grandad's Pillar? The Megalithic Stone?
My pal just wants to call it his erection.
How bland.
First off, I don't believe that's your house. It's bright and sunny and the door is open and the dog is reclining on the patio. That's not Ireland. It's not raining.
Secondly, what's with the little cherub sitting at the top of the stairs? Maybe it's Pixie Chick.
Photoshop, my good man.
As for the little cherub thing, that doesn't exist. It just appears in photographs and can't be seen with the naked eye. I have my suspicion that it may be Supershadow.
The Ogham writing will confuse Them.
Not half as much as it will confuse me.
Is there anything worse than a power saw cutting stone at eight in the morning?
two of them.
The pillar has a garden tap attached to it. Either that or you tap it three times and go underground as Bond did in Live and Let Die.
The tap idea is a good one. Wrong though. My garden tap is hidden under a mass of brambles way off to the right.
I did think of suggesting that the granite rock is infused with a solid quartz crystal that runs through the core, which allows me to communicate with The Others as they orbit overhead?
Yes but does that make you a suitable candidate for the jedi council?
Apparently I am already in. I'm there to maintain balance, or some such shit.
spare step stood on end…a route marker for the lost tourists…a teleporting terminal…
A lifting step [like a lifting bridge] to allow obese snails to pass?
I bet it's a menhir, and you dance round it naked when there's a full moon. Probably with half a dozen of the village virgins. And Penny.
I hope your wife doesn't wake up and catch you worshipping the Old Gods….
"worshipping the Old Gods"
That would have to be good old Priapos.
http://www.theoi.com/Georgikos/Priapos.html
Or, should he insist on an Irish broad to worship, then Danu's sort of okay.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danu_(Irish_goddess)
But that page's got stacks of 'em.
And presumably the "erection's" set in such a way that on the 22nd December he can meander out and check the shadow falls on precisely the the correct mark on that pagan altar and then he can sacrifice a woodland creature to guarantee a bountiful year ahead. Or (more likely) run off to the shops to get pressies for the grandsprogs!
Wow! That Priapos is a big lad?
I must check to see which way shadows fall on the various important dates. Maybe I'll bury little pillars at the corresponding spots to confuse future archeologists?
Your pillar had me musing. Is it for the birds? a bit of food on the top and sit and watch them from inside the house? Even if not, methinks a good idea anyway 🙂
That is an excellent [alternative] use for it actually. I'll give it a try. Won't work on a windy day though?
It's a washing line for leprechauns ?
Leprechauns don't wash. They wish. Different thing altogether. Or did you really mean “wishing line”?