Blaming Mark Knopfler

I have been doing a bit of painting.

Not your arty farty dabbing splodges of oil paint on canvas, but the real thing – whacking great cans of emulsion, four inch brushes, ladders, the works.

Yesterday it was time to tackle the kitchen end of the room.  It's many years since it was last painted and the white walls were looking a bit seedy.  I put it down to all the smoke from burnt fries, overenthusiastic use of the oven and the like.

Now the other end of the room is home to my little sound system, and I like a drop of music while working.  Having set up the ladder, stirred the paint, kicked out the dog and cleaned the cobwebs off the walls, it was time to select some music.  For no reason other than personal preference, I selected Dire Straits, racked up the volume [and the bass] and let fly.

Now everything was fine.  The lads were doing their bit on the stereo and I was doing my bit at the top of the ladder.  A good rapid beat leads to swift brush strokes so I was really hammering through the work.

I should have realised I was heading into trouble when they played "Calling Elvis".  It is a rapid beat piece and I started foot-tapping.  Foot-tapping is not to be recommended when at the top of the ladder and a couple of times I damn near fell off.

Then they played "Money for Nothing".

For those of you not familiar with "Money for Nothing" it starts off with a pleasant little cacophony with vocals and a smidgin of drumming.  Then Mark Knopfler just has to show off with a bit of real tight hard guitar.

Maybe I'm too old for playing air guitar?

Definitely air guitar is not advised if you are at the top of a ladder with a loaded paint brush in one hand and a can of emulsion in the other.

Gravity decided to join into the equation.

Luckily the floor is polished hardwood and it only took an hour or two to clean it.  My clothes were old and needed to be replaced anyway.  The dog wasn't too happy at being hosed down in the garden either [server her right for sneaking back into the kitchen].  Sadly I don't think the kitchen table will ever be the same.

I have to finish the painting today.

I think I'll put on Mozart instead.

 

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Blaming Mark Knopfler — 9 Comments

  1. Yes quite keen on the old Dire Straits stuff myself. Although Mozart probably would have been a better choice under the circumstances. I find his piano concertos hit the spot when I'm working. Whatever you do, don't put on Orff's 'Carmina Burana' – you'll be waving the brush around like a conductor's baton and will absolutely certainly fall off the ladder. Stirring stuff.

    • Not sure about Carmina Burana – a little bit jerky for painting?  I need smooth rhythms [but not too fast as I learned].  Mind you, stirring music is what's required in the preparation stages?

  2. Progressive jazz. Put some of that on and you won't have a problem because:

    1. There's no real beat or rhythm to it.

    2. There's no real melody to it either except maybe at the very beginning and end.

    3. The musicians are usually going off on there own private jam session at the same time during the same piece.

    4. You whiz right through the job at hand just because you can't wait to shut the damn stereo off.

    There. Problem solved.

    • True. I loved all Miles Davis' music up to 'Bitches Brew', which I bought when it was released but could never get really enthusiastic about. As you say, Kirk, it was a bunch of guys all doing their own thing, and fuck whether or not it was in harmony with anyone else. Which might have been great fun to do when you're stoned out of your brains, but doesn't really do anything for the poor soul subjected to the result. Or at least, it didn't do anything for me. I'm obviously not 'progressive' enough.

      It's a funny thing about the word 'progressive'. It sounds all kind of edgy and modern, "like, if you're not 'progressive' man, then you've really missed the boat…" And yet anything in real life that is associated with the word 'progressive' is assured to be some lefty garbage appreciated only by the intellectually challenged who are told what to think and what to like.

      It's a funny old world.

      • I have a strong theory that all those who proclaim to love "progressive" jazz are suffering from the Emperor's New Clothes Syndrome.  They are all afraid to admit that they haven't a fucking clue what's going on, but nod sagely and utter things like "incredible syncopation" and "brilliant riffs" because they have others uttering the same thing.

        • I could say the same thing about Steely Dan ("incredible syncopation" and "brilliant riffs") especially "Reelin' in the Years" and it would actually be true and a pretty decent listen. But I wouldn't actually call it progressive.

      • It's a funny old world indeed. To me, the term "progressive" always has and always will relate to music. I was a sound engineer for quite a long time so that probably explains why I feel that way.

        I was also a Cold War submariner so that probably explains why I think politics are nothing but indoor sports for the feeble minded. 😉

        No offense meant to those who actually like progressive jazz and politics of course.

  3. Snap re decorating. Have you been reading my blog and be shamed into it? I was – by my daughter. She set to and did a great job upstairs. I could not put the job off any longer. A biggish room, some 6m x 4m, all surfaces needed cleaning (tobacco gunk) and painting. Three days work so far. Tomorrow, I should finish. But then of course, everything else will need cleaning before we get back to normal.

    No accidents, though, so far.

     

    • No.  I haven't and it's all your fault – you never put your link in your comments!  I have now found you, added the site to my reader and also added a link on my links page [thanks for your link by the way!]

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