I have seen some pretty whacky off the wall research in my time.

This one should surely take the biscuit .  In fact if a student of mine presented this "research" as a thesis, not only would I give a resounding "Fail" but would boot the student clear into the shelf-stacking areas of Tesco.

Ultrasounds capture unborn baby grimacing in womb as mother smokes

I really don't know where to start with this one.

Let's start with the gigantic cross-section of society that was tested.  Four?  Four smokers and sixteen non-smokers?  Wow!  Dr Reissland didn't exactly break into a sweat over this one?  Extrapolating the results from twenty subjects is going to give a really accurate representation of society, isn't it?

Lets' have a look at her conclusion –

Unborn babies appear to grimace in the womb when their mother lights up, scientists have shown, demonstrating the harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy.

They APPEAR to grimace?  What kind of fucking science is this?  Could it be that the "researchers" were attributing their own prejudices to the images?  Surely not?  That would be unscientific, wouldn't it? 

Using their methodology, I could examine a field full of cows chewing the cud.  But the cows nearest the road APPEAR to be reciting Shakespeare.  My ground breaking conclusion is that being near a road increases cows' literacy rates.  A load of bollox?  Of course it is, but I am using exactly the same criteria.

Equally I could look at those scans, and declare that the fetuses of the smoking mothers are in fact wriggling with joy whenever Mammy lights up?  But that would be contrary to the EXPECTED results so that can't be right.

The good doctor wants to show these images to smoking mothers to scare the shit out of them help them quit.  We're about to see lurid anti-smoker porn on pregnant bellies now, are we?  At least she is against demonising smoking mothers.  Yeah Right.

The irony of the whole business is that there is one tangible, demonstrable result –

All the babies in her study were born healthy, and were of normal size and weight.

So, using the good doctors own yardstick, she has proved that smoking has no effect on babies whatsoever.

This surely is a new low for junk science?


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Anthropomorphism — 14 Comments

    • What the hell is page 53??  Research into Conspiracy Theories?  What the fuck is that? 

      "A round table discussion considered potential activities for the group" – in other words, we have to dream up lovely excuses for lovely grants.

  1. Bloody hell! It's all true!!!!! I believe everything I'm told!!!!!

    The more worrying thing is that the meediyah publish this sh!t. I remember the grand old Daily Mail newspaper having a "red wine causes cancer" article just above another one that said "drinking 2 glasses of red wine reduces cancer risk!"

    P.S. It's not Shakespear the cows are appearing to quote, it's Yates. I know this for A FACT !!!!! I mean, the cows aren't travelling to England are they? FFS. Grandad, your methods of wonkifyling scientific data are completely rubbish.

    • It did cross my mind that maybe this was meant to be held back to be published tomorrow.  Then it really would have made sense.

      My cows are very cosmopolitan.  That's what happens when they graze under pylons.

  2. Glad I had my kids back in the 60s when I could smoke all through labour, don't think I would have managed without smoking! Kids were fine of course, we just lived our normal lives then smoking and having a weekend drink. Happy days.

  3. It seems to have become one of the uber-crimes of the day, smoking while pregnant. I have four (adult, now) healthy and intelligent kids, all of whom were born to mothers who smoked during pregnancy.

    Yet these days, it is common to read in comments sections the most incredible bile directed at any woman who has the temerity to continue to smoke when she is pregnant. 'Murderer' is one of the milder epithets deployed.

    It just goes to show how this kind of baseless propaganda poisons the minds of the easily led. No-one, but no-one in the indoctrinated masses ever seems to wonder how us lot managed to survive all that SHS and smoking mums and smoky pubs etc etc, not to mention the number of years (50 in my case) that we've been puffing the old gaspers at a rate of twenty a day or equivalent, and yet here we still are. very much alive and kicking. Hundreds of millions of us.

    • The greatest argument against the Anti-Nazis – the fact that we all survived, being surrounded by smoke in just about place we went.  I actually feel a little sorry for those fuckwits who believe all the propaganda and sincerely believe that a breath of tobacco smoke is all but a death sentence.  They have been completely brainwashed

  4. They couldn't influence us,so now they're demonizing our women! If that wasn't bad enough,they're picking on the pregnant ones,the emotionally vulnerable ones,using terms such as "murderers" & "child abusers".I find this kind of behavior reprehensible,& I weep for the loss of common sense & civility in our society.

    • They have been domonising mothers for a while now.  I think the worst is the claim that smoking causes Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.  It's a terrible thing to loose a baby like that, but for those cunts in the Tobacco Control Industry to turn around and point the finger of blame at the unfortunate parents is beneath contempt.

      An interesting take on the subject

  5. Two things I know:

    1. You can do anything with Photoshop.

    2. I can't spell anthropomorphism.

    Other than that, smoking is way down here in the states as compared to what it was just 20 years ago and without any sort of insane anti-smoking campaigns. This just goes to prove that the more you tell people they can't do something, the more they do it. Sheer human tenacity. The Irish government lost their anti-smoking campaign before they even started it. What's really sad about the whole thing is they still don't realize it.

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