ROLL UP! ROLL UP!
You are all cordially invited to the luxurious bash of a lifetime at the Hyattt Catpital Gate in Abu Dhabi.
No expense has been spared to ensure the break of a lifetime [don’t worry – all expenses will be paid by the tax payer].
Don't miss out of the fabulous highlights…
James Fatso Reilly of Ireland being awarded Cunt of the Year for his work on plain packs.
Michael Bloomberg being awarded Tyrant of the Decade, for being.. well.. a tyrant.
Simon Chapman receiving his Mensa Award for the lowest recorded IQ in history.
Other highlights will be special training sessions for journalists to show them how to lie through their teeth without laughing, and for those who know sweet fuck all about Limited Liability there will be a hilarious discussion on suing company executives.
This is an opportunity you cannot afford to miss. You would be mad to miss out on a chance of joining a profession that pays well and whose only requirement is to be as ignorant as pig shit. No qualifications are required, in fact, scientific training and logical reasoning are the only barriers to membership.
Do you feel you need a new religion?
Is your penis so small that you feel a need to bully?
Do you need a reason for your grey, bland, dull life?
Do you love spouting arse-dribble?
Join us NOW!
You know you want to.